I love my job?

Lately, I've been fretting over my job. Somedays I feel completely overwhelmed by it. Lately, I really had been thinking of giving up teaching (k-12) in the next two years. However, I think I just need to tone it down some. This year I did lessen my plate by not being in grad school and not co-sponsoring some things. However, I'm still on committees and things like that. I know that in two years, I'll need simmer down on all the responsibilities and just teach, as we plan to start a family then.
The other day I was complaining about all the farting, nose picking, flirting, helplessness, and just overall immature behavior running rampant in my classroom. It was just one of those never-ending detention writing days. My friend asked me if I ever considered teaching another grade. I immediately said no. Even with the farts, I really do love teaching 7th grade. They still care. I can ruin (actually they ruin it, but I get blamed) a kid's Halloween weekend when I catch him cheating on a test by calling his parents and he actually cares. He actually tries the next time. He actually comes in for tutoring. He actually grows as a person. I'm not sure if I would see the same effects in an older student. Not to say that all my students care, because there are a host of students who couldn't give a rat's ass about the high expectations I have for them, but I do care. I want what is best for them.
So, I guess this is my vow to stick it out in k-12 education. I will consider moonlighting at a community college. Murad suggested I teach an evening class every once in a while. He said he'd stay home with the kids.
Our lives are changing rapidly too. Murad graduates next month and starts his master's degree. He's still looking for an easy job so that he can go to school full-time and graduate in December 2010. maybe subbing? He already found a site for his next practicum. He's made so many connections at his current practicum site. He's so excited. It'll be in downtown Dallas so he'll still get the urban environment. He'll be working under a social worker who has a private practice and he'll get to run group therapy which is what Murad's always wanted to do. He did it before in NJ and loved it, so he's excited that he'll get to continue that here.
Money is tight, but we're still saving. We're really hoping to buy a house in 2011, but we may have to wait until 2012. We really want to buy our "forever" home. Something in which our kids can grow. We've narrowed down the neighborhoods and picked out the schools (we're nerds like that). We're making plans to bring home a little bundle of joy in 2012. I know it may not work out that perfectly, but we want to be ready for whatever God throws our way.
Life is really good right now. We have a lot for which to be thankful and a lot to look forward to. As the holidays approach, we're thankful for time with our family. Wednesday we travel to to NJ for Thanksgiving with Murad's family. Immediately after that his family will be back for his graduation here. We're excited that Abby will spend Christmas with us again!
So, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

back on?

so our trip to DR may be back on.....and it may not....
I'll explain more when I know more.
For now, live in suspense!!!!!

do I need help?

first of all, I've been an emotional wreck the past few days.

1. I had to have a mental just let it go day for crying. I allowed myself the whole day on Saturday, but only cried for an hour. pretty good for me.

2. it's that time of the month

3. today one of my students came back to class after fainting and suffering from amnesia. I thought I was prepared for it, but when he was in class it was so surreal. I couldn't believe that he didn't remember me, his classmates, or anything. It was like he was a new student that I was introducing to my class. I was really concerned that his personality and spirit might be gone, but it was there. He has such a lively (talkative) and kind personality. Some of things he said in class were funny and provided a little relief for my nerves, like when he asked one girl, "no offense. I'm not trying to get in your personal business, but are you a talkative person?" Ironically, he and that girl used to chat it up prior to his accident.

4. okay, so loyal readers I've been debating whether to post this on here for the world to see. I am extremely claustrophobic. Some of you have been so kind wanting for Mr. Soup and I to go on a cruise. I suggested it to him last night since it would be in his price range. He was like, "babe I don't want to go do this experiment to see if you can handle staying in a small room on a cruise ship. This is our honeymoon and I want it to be a good experience for you." However, I was like I need to get over this. I mean seriously, why can't I be in small spaces? However, when I went to look up the dates we want to take our honeymoon, the prices were too high (spring break), so I took it as a sign that we should not go on a cruise. Am I just looking for a way out? maybe. but I'm wondering how much this phobia affects my life. When did it begin? Maybe you can psychoanalyze me:

1. I cannot stand to have blankets over my head. My husband sleeps with our comforter over his head every night. I rest it comfortably at my chest.

2. I cannot ride elevators alone. I tried it once at the beginning of the school year and I started sweating and crying. I always make a student or another teacher ride it with me, or I put the equipment in the elevator and then run upstairs to meet it.

I think my fear of elevators might be separate from my claustophobia. I've been "trapped" in an elevator twice in my life. Once in 2nd grade (i wasn't trapped, but my friend and I didn't get off in time at the museum for a class field trip. we got stuck there for maybe five minutes. even then I had that panicky feeling. I started breathing hard, sweating and crying. I was mortified when the doors opened and my classmates laughed at me!) When I was student teaching they had just "fixed" an elevator in the school. I went to grab a TV/VCR and as I entered the elevator I calmly pushed the buttons and the lights went off. The elevator stopped for 10 minutes. there were no lights to see the buttons. luckily it started up again and I was on the right floor.

so what can I do to get over these two fears?

3. locked rooms---my cousin used to lock me and my brother in my grandma's basement for fun. as a result I was extremely scared of the freezer when I worked at Baskin-Robbins.

so, what should I do? I'm open to all suggestions. there are some treatments and therapies available.

down sized

So, after much discussion Mr. Soup and I have decided to downsize our honeymoon. We just can't justify putting $3000-4000 towards a trip to DR when we really need to buy a house in the next year or two. So, we are looking for something that would be around $1000. My only real requirement is that there is a beach and beach-like activities. So far, Port Aransas is looking real good! I'm doing some research on it. I thought I'd be bummed on down-sizing, but I'm actually excited. This way, we may be able to take Sam & Maya and we can bring our wedding cake top with us! (not sure if we can call it a honeymoon since we're bringing our kids.....not sure if we can call it a honeymoon because we'll have been married for a year by then) either way, I'm excited to spend some quality time with my man!!!!

let the countdown begin...

Thanksgiving is almost here. Today, the 2nd day of November, marks the official countdown to 2010. I'm so excited for what the new year will bring. 2009 was wonderful! I planned the wedding of my dreams for a fraction of what most weddings cost. I married the man of my dreams! However, I feel like between now and then I will be so busy. Here are some highs and lows for the rest of 2009!
November 7th - marks the anniversary of my cousin's death. not sure how I'll deal with it, but it's inevitable that this would come. It's hard to believe it's been a year. a freakin' year. it still seems like he's here. I've been having panic attacks. it's almost like I'm reliving the moment my dad called me with the news and I can't breathe.
November 12th - Dad's 63rd birthday
November 13th - Language Arts teachers at the lake. should be an exciting weekend
November 14th - last new member class at church
November 15th - become a new member at my church
November 21st - my friend Jodi's baby's 1st birthday
November 25th - leave for New Jersey
November 27th - 76ers game (my 1st NBA game)
November 28th - Mr. Soup's 10 year reunion
November 29th - Philadelphia Eagles game (my 2nd NFL game)
December 5th - possible girls' weekend in OKC
December 12th - Willie's wedding in OK
December 19th - Mr. Soup's graduation and party
December 25th - Christmas somewhere in KS
December 31st - NYE somewhere!