Four Months

Well yesterday Mr. Joel turned four months. Can you believe it? I can't! Time is flying. I find myself feeling a mixture of excitement and longing for days of old. I miss when he was my little five pounder. I miss when his poop was black and didn't have an odor. I miss his newborn breath. I miss everything from when he was little, but I LOVE how much fun he is right now. Laughing, giggling, squealing, yelling and smiling are all part of his regular daily activity. He can sit up in his little blue chair and he's able to push himself up with his arms on his tummy-time mat.
Today we went to Dr. Ramirez. He is 13 lbs (25%) and 23 inches (5%) and his head circumference is in the 25th percentile. He's ready to start baby food, but I think we're going to hold off until he's six months. Neither Murad or I are ready for him to start it. Some of the things Joel likes to do include:
watching Spongebob
grabbing things and pulling them near his chest
playing peekabo
mimicking daddy's sounds
some of the things Joel hates include:
drinking from a bottle
sleeping in his crib
yeah...we're still working on those. it's not that he hates drinking from a bottle, but if I'm there he prefers drinking straight from the spout. We're working in twenty minute crib intervals. He still prefers the pack n' play. Our goal was to start the transition to his crib at six months, but we figured we'd try it early. I guess he's not quite ready to sleep in his own room quite yet.
Well, Mr. Soup has started studying for his licensure exam again. I think he's ready to tackle it again and do well. WHEN he gets his social work license, we'll be able to afford for me to work part-time. This brings a bit of relief, but also some difficulty. I have really not been liking my job this school year. It has a lot to do with administrative and curricular stuff. It has absolutely nothing to do with the students. Actually, being with the kids is the highlight of my day. I thought this year would be better, but it's not which is a shame, because I had such high hopes. So who knows what will happen with that next year. I'm still teaching one class per semester at the community college and I can always increase my course load. In addition, I scored my first freelance writing gig! I'm so excited to start and I'm hoping this will be the start of something great!
If I do end up teaching or writing part-time there is no way we could afford to send Joel to daycare full-time. His daycare is full-time only (well you can send your kid part-time, but you still have to pay the full tuition). There is no other daycare I would ever consider taking my child, so finding another daycare is out of the question. We really love his daycare and he does too. I think part of the reason he's developing so well because of his time at daycare. It's just a wonderful place for him; it's a true community. They really love him. I never believed that daycare could be good for child (mine sucked as a kid), but now I am a firm believer. Plus, Joel really thrives on the full-time routine. If he only went part-time, he'd lose that routine.
So, yeah. As of right now I plan to continue working full-time, but I just don't know what next fall will look like. I just know that I'm really unhappy professionally (with the exception of my side jobs) and I want to fix it; I just don't know how. I'm so stressed out when I'm there.
On a brighter note: I'm losing weight rapidly! I'm 3 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight and 8 lbs from my goal weight. Because I feel better about how I look, I've started taking pics with Joely. I realized that most of the pictures we have are of Joel and everyone else and very few of me. So my goal is to take more pics of my little man with me. I think we look good together. don't you???