so much respect...

As the weather changes, I'm reminded of just how fast time flies. My baby boy will be five months tomorrow! I've learned so much about myself, my husband, our marriage and of course, our little boy. I think I now have the utmost respect for anyone who dons the title of "mommy!" It's a tiring job, but it comes with the greatest rewards and perks. When I was pregnant I didn't want to hear advice from anyone. In fact, I told people that I didn't want any advice. However, after I hit week 25, I was more open to listening. That is when I started asking any and every mom for advice. One of the cool things I learned as that while we all approach mothering differently we all strive to be the best mom we can be. This really hit home as I read my friend Lara's blog. I realize that we all have certain values that we want to impart to our children, and while they may be different, why not help each other out along the way? I asked myself, do I judge other moms? Do I come across as knowing everything about mothering (because I certainly do not!). I think this is especially poignant as many of my friends are starting to have children and are addressing the formula vs. breastfeeding challenge. Breastfeeding was/is the hardest thing about mothering Joel. I'll admit, I'm pretty lucky. Joel is a relatively easy baby. He laughs, explores, eats, and sleeps. He rarely cries even now when he is teething. My struggles with breastfeeding are pretty minute compared to others' breastfeeding struggles. While I was pregnant, I made sure to talk to both breastfeeding and formula-feeding mothers. This was the best thing I could do. I think it helped prepare me for the challenges ahead and when I faced the possibility of having to exclusively formula feed Joel, I felt a little more comfortable if that were to happen. I visit so many new mom blogs,chat rooms, message boards and I'm part of a few in-real-life new mom groups. I hate, hate, hate the breast-feeding bullying that goes on. We're supposed to support and uplift each other, not tear each other down. Sometimes I feel a little guilty because Joel gets 6oz of formula a day. I then slap myself for feeding in to the bullying. While some of the challenges of breastfeeding have dissipated, they are now replaced with other challenges: pumping. I pump as much as I can at work, but my milk supply sometimes is low. I deal with a lot of stress at my job, so that affects my ability to pump well. Now that Joel is sleeping through the night, I pump at home quite a bit because I'm more relaxed. Pumping takes up a good 40 minutes of my work day which makes it difficult to complete administrative tasks. I find myself asking, "is it worth it to pump?" Then I remind myself that for our family it is. I refuse to let the employment devils win! But I digress... I remember when I first got pregnant I told myself that I would never co-sleep. Who would do that? The child will probably breastfeed for years? I bet that couple never has sex...yeah. I was so wrong. While I was scared for Joel's safety (I don't care what anyone tells you, when you are surviving on sleep fumes as I like to call them, you're not aware of the baby in your bed), the benefits I saw while we tried co-sleeping outweighed the safety risks. Joel's breathing was regulated, he was able to bond with not only me, but his father as he would snuggle to him too, we could place him back on his back if he rolled to his side, etc. We quickly transitioned to the pack n' play in our room. He now sleeps for 10-12 hours at night in his crib in his own room. So yeah, I judged myself before I knew what I would become. A breast-feeding/pumping/sometimes formula-ing, former co-sleeping mama. I am the happiest I've been in so long, but I'm still on the journey and enjoying it. I'll leave you with a picture of Joely and me. Don't we look cute? We kind of have the sporty look going on with my Nike shirt and his windpants. Yeah. Even though I don't have a daughter, I try to match our outfits...at least in themes. I'm definitely not going to take the twinning further than that. I absolutely love Joel in fall clothes. I take that back, I love him in all clothes. He's so adorable (I'm seriously considering getting him into modeling. I am researching agencies right now) Life is pretty easy when you have a cute son!