We turned 3!

Well, our marriage did! Yep. On Wednesday March 21st, 2012 we celebrated our three year anniversary. I didn't think it was possible to love Murad more than I did on that day 3 years ago, but I do! Sure there have been some bumps along the way, but I can honestly say that I have enjoyed each and every day with him.
In three years he's finally realized how important March Madness is to me. This year he even filled out a bracket and participated. That's love right there!
While being a parent isn't easy, I can honestly say sharing parenting duties with him is awesome. He's such a hands-on dad, and he makes sure I take care of myself. At the first sign of PPD, he was doing what he could to support me and urging me to contact my doctor. Even now, as I try to figure out what I want to be "when I grow up," he's supportive. I worry about finances, and he reminds me that we have a plan and that we'll be okay. He says, "we do things our own way, Ash."
And he's right...and that takes me back to our wedding (you knew I was going to find a way! to talk about that day). We really did do things our own way. I know I brag about doing things on a budget, but the truth is we were so lucky that our parents made generous contributions to make it possible. I think so many times we think we're entitled to a wedding (I know I did!), but I cannot thank my parents enough for hosting our wedding and to his parents for hosting our rehearsal dinner. Because of this, our only expenses were our venue (we splurged for a venue with a view of downtown Dallas), alcohol, and invitations (I wanted to make my own). And while our venue was pricey, it allowed us to do so many things. For example, since we avoided a country club or hotel ballroom, we were able to bring in our own alcohol and catering. This brought down our costs tremendously! We used a local restaurant chain for catering and I bought all the alcohol the day before from a liquor superstore. The convenience of our location meant our out-of-town guests could literally walk to our wedding and to many Dallas landmarks and museums.This was really important to us because we wanted guests to experience our city! I think most people took advantage of what the city has to offer and the night life.
In addition to our venue, I think the things that made our wedding special were the personalized details...homemade invitations, programs and menus, wedding dress made by my mom, signature drink in honor of our pups, guestbook quilt, broom made by mom, etc. They may not have been as important to our guests, but they were and still are important to us. As we prepare play a part in or serve as guests in 5 weddings in 2012 (1 in the spring in Philly, 2 in the summer in DFW, one in the summer in KC, and one in the fall in Dallas), I cannot wait to see how each couple chooses to express their love. I absolutely love this about weddings (that and the food and alcohol and the fact that we'll have a date-night). I look back at our wedding and I do not regret a thing. I loved everything about it! I do not wish we eloped or wish we had a smaller wedding. Ours was perfect for who we were and still represents us today. Happy 3rd anniversary to the love of my life! I love you! I loved our wedding and I am thankful for the marriage we have!

Wedding Wednesday

I'm stealing this idea because I saw it on a friend's blog. My love of all things wedding has not diminished or quelled. So why not embrace it? With spring and summer just around the corner, I want to highlight unique weddings I see and offer my advice as someone who has been married almost 2 years! It feels amazing saying that!
1st piece of advice - make your wedding unique. a country club or venue overlooking a lake or garden was not our idea of our dream wedding. We wanted something lofty, urban and and a place that represented the city. I didn't want industrial or rustic; I wanted some elegance and softness. Having our wedding in a loft isn't unique, but it was to us and our families. Most of the weddings we have attended have been church weddings followed by a reception at a country club, hotel, or church basement. To us the loft was perfect and symbolized our love, as we met in Dallas!
Don't be afraid to add personal touches. We included lots of homemade items such as our guest book quilt, handmade soap favors, homemade wedding dress, bouquet arrangements , homemade invitations, programs, menus, etc. They took extra time (which is why we had a year and half long engagement), but they were fun to make. We also saved a ton of money! They were also things that were important to us and represented us as a couple. Many of the things now adorn our new home.
think of your guests - everything we did we had the guest in mind. we had our wedding in one location because both Mr. Soup and I hate going to weddings where you have to travel to a separate reception venue that is super far from the ceremony site. We had tons of good, comfort food because we hate going to weddings with not enough food and weird food that nobody likes. we had lots of alcohol because, let's face it, most people go to weddings for the free booze. Think about the things you like at a wedding? For me it's the food and drinks. I also like convenience, especially if I'm an out-of-town guest. Remember, your guests are driving/flying to your city, possibly staying in a hotel and/or renting a car, buying you a gift, and giving up their day to spend it with you. Treat them right!
cut costs where you can - I already stressed the importance of DIYing your wedding, but really sit down and scrutinize what you need and don't need (in fact no one NEEDS a wedding, but you get my drift). Really determine what is important to you as a couple. For example, Mr. Soup and I easily could've rented out a community center or park for under $500 and had a great wedding. However, our downtown location was very important to us. It was a splurge, but it was something I don't regret (and we didn't go in debt for it). We probably could've gone without a DJ, but my mom really wanted to ensure that she got to dance to Akon over and over. We could've just hooked up an iPod to speakers or just had an afternoon reception without dancing (which would've cut our catering and alcohol bill down a lot). We were very lucky that our parents contributed to the wedding financially, but I think if they hadn't we still could've had a lovely, elegant wedding within our budget.
research - I cannot stress enough how much one needs to research and ask for referrals. For example, I was at the dentist and just happened to mention I was getting married and found out that my dental hygienist made wedding cakes out of her home. my former co-worker played the harp. Both of them were available at a lower cost than what we anticipated spending. We really wanted to have our wedding catered with good food. So many caterers wanted to charge us an arm and a leg for a heavy hors d'ourves meal (plus they wanted to charge us $40 just to taste the food). We met with a local restaurant and for half the price we received a full buffet meal plus appetizers. They also served the alcohol (which we bought in bulk at a discount liquor store) and provided the mixers. Every time we met with them to go over food pricing, they would feed us or send us home with food. I know hotel weddings can be expensive, but the hotel at which we had our room block was perfect for our rehearsal dinner and less expensive than most places we had looked. Plus, it was convenient for our 35 wedding party guests and relatives. We were so lucky to find all these great vendors for our wedding. How did we find them? Well obviously some fell into our hands. I also went online and read reviews of everything I could. I asked local girls on the Knot website. I asked for teacher discounts and college-student discounts. If I couldn't afford it, I made it or borrowed it or had my mom make it.
I had a lot of fun planning our wedding because it truly was a representation of Mr. Soup and I as a couple. I realize not every girl is like this, but for me our wedding day is something I wouldn't trade for the world.
So, next Wednesday (or the next Wednesday that I update this blog) I plan to post some cool weddings I see (budget friendly, of course). However, today I want to add a link to this website. Budget Savvy Bride. She offers tons of advice on how to have the wedding of your dreams on any budget. There is also a section for real weddings. you can search by locations or by cost (anywhere from $1000 to $20000 and above). I love reading the ones that come under budget. Mr. Soup and I came under our budget by about $2000! We were very proud of that!
Here's our wedding breakdown. We alloted $15,000 and spent around $13000, but honestly, I think we could've done it for $7,000. I also realize the term budget-wedding is subjective. I realize that $13,000 could be a dream wedding for some or not enough to others. For us, it was perfect. I don't post this on here nor to have someone throw me a pity party. I post it so that it's possible to have a wedding with any budget! So, if you have pics of your wedding and want to share how you were able to have your dream wedding, what made it unique and advice, let me know and I'll post it here!
$13250 breakdown
Venue $4500 (we got $500 off with teacher discount)
Catering $2600 (120 guests, appetizers, buffet dinner, bartending, cake-cutting,etc.)
Alcohol $700
Photographer $1200
DJ $750
Harpist $200
Officiant $250
Flowers, decor $200
Paper $300
Wedding Bands $800 (platinum bands from Sam's Club)
Gifts $200
Wedding Dress $350 (for fabrics, etc.)
Rehearsal Dinner $1000
Misc. items (flower girl dress, ribbon, veil, other crafts) $200
total = $13250
We received about $7000 in financial gifts from our parents, so we ended up coming up with $6000 on our own. I didn't include our honeymoon because we took it a year later and I think my hubby spent about $1200 on that.

almost a year and a half later...

our wedding guestbook quilt is complete! it is now hanging in our home. I am thrilled. takes me back to that spectacular day when we vowed to spend our lives together. The day I became Mrs. Soup. It has been a ride full of joys and challenges. I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks to those who were there to sign it and those who were with us in spirit. Thanks to those who continue to support us today!

I've also included a picture of our wedding broom which is also hanging in our home.

I heart weddings

it's no secret that i love weddings! i had a blast planning my wedding. And although I would never want to do it again, I do love looking at other people's weddings. i love royalty as well. since we have no royalty in the United States, the presidents will have to do. So, as many of you know Chelsea Clinton got married this past weekend (I feel like Kelly Kapoor writing this). Her wedding pics are amazing! I absolutely love her dress, her bouquet, the smiles on Bill & Hill's face. She did an excellent job of combining classic and traditional with modern. She created a timeless affair. I love how she had an interfaith ceremony having both a rabbi and pastor officiating. I don't think we see many interfaith weddings, but they are so special as they are truly two different cultures coming together.

There are a few celebrities that also wed this weekend: Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats, Tiny and T.I., and DJ Jazzy Jeff. I've seen a few pics of Alicia Keys. She looked stunning as well and rocked the baby bump. However, I will say that I'm not a big fan of celebrity weddings (those of actors, musicians and sports stars). I will say that the weddings of Jenna Bush and Chelsea Clinton's have been my favorite.

a little late...

the day I married my soulmate

3.21.2009

Happy Anniversary

Some Dance Shots

Wedding Pics

I need to create a shutterfly account and post them there. However, for now they are here. So deal!

Wedding Highlights from Mrs. Soup

Ah, Here I am just sitting on my couch 10 days after being married to the love of my life. I seriously wish I could go back and relive it all over again. It was the BEST day of our lives! Everything was perfect! I'm so proud at how we were able to pull off an elegant, yet fun wedding for so cheap! I know some brides have that guilt after they get married because the wedding was a lavish expense, but ours was perfect and we can still buy a house someday! Okay, so I'll start off with some of the low points of the wedding weekend.
Friday morning---I was hurting! I would not recommend planning your bachelorette party the day before the rehearsal dinner. However, that was the best day to get all my girls from out of state in one place. I had a great time on Thursday Night (even though Gloria's didn't have my signature Mango Margarita) and a great time decorating the wedding venue the next day.
Groomzilla---Mr. Soup was somewhat of a groomzilla. I know Murad wanted to hang out with his buds the whole weekend, but I think he got somewhat stressed with all the guys depending on him. He kind of slacked on his duties (forgetting his rehearsal dinner outfit and overnight suitcase). I'm glad he remembered the rings though!

Highlights:
Rehearsal Dinner---this was a great time for our family and friends to come together in an intimate setting to eat and celebrate. I made a seating chart so that guests could get to know each other (the teacher in me!). On the back of the menu cards we put trivia questions about the wedding party and family members present at the dinner (again more teacherness). I think everyone really enjoyed figuring out who belonged to each question. See, I can make learning fun! We also had a great video slideshow for everyone to view! It featured clip of Mr. Soup and me through the years. Overall, the evening was fun and relaxing. The food was excellent too! Mr. Soup and I put a lot of effort into picking gifts for everyone and I think they all liked them. I was so happy when my grandfather told me how much he liked the pocketwatch we gave him (and the other men). I felt so proud
My dress---need I say more. Absolutely beautiful. People still can't believe my mom made it. I love the detail on it. I love that noone else will ever have this dress!
jewelry---my mom did an awesome job with the jewelry. Not only did she make my jewelry, but she made jewelry for my bridesmaids and flowergirls. She also created some hair jewelry as a surprise for me. I had wanted them, but didn't know I was getting them until the day of the wedding!
Rooftop Private Photo Session---Mr. Soup and I met on the rooftop of the DAC before the wedding. He had been stressed out all day and starting to piss me off royally. However, when we saw each other on the rooftop all our stress melted. He still talks about that moment and it makes me melt. I wasn't an advocate for seeing one another before the wedding, but seeing him eased my nerves.
Photo Session with the wedding party---those pics were so fun to take! I can't wait to see how they turn out. It was great having all our guys and gals together for some fun shots!
Guest Book Quilt---this was a huge hit with our guests! I think it allowed for people to leave more personal messages too. I can't wait for my mom to finish piecing it together!
Unity Sand & Jumping the Broom---I loved incorporating these elements into our wedding. I think they are so unique and beautiful. Our sand is sitting in our living room on display. I will put up our broom soon too!
family---not many people from both our families attended the wedding, so we were excited to see the ones who came. I was especially excited to see my cousins. Although, I could not help but think that Philip should be there, I was happy Willie, Jessi and Willie's new wife Jessica were there. Willie represented with his mohawk. However, it's probably gone now that he entered the service.
Our Readings---all three readings were beautiful. the two religious ones expressed our faiths without being preachy. The poem on marriage showed how unexpected yet welcomed our love was/is.
the dance floor---it was fun to see people gravitate towards the dance floor....even my mama danced a couple of songs. I think she liked dancing with Murad in the Soul Train line the best! Abby was all over that dance floor! She was the hit of the night! I don't think she even sat down to eat!
groom/daughter dance--everyone's heart melted when Abby and Mr. Soup took the floor. They looked absolutely adorable out there. I know that is something we all will remember for the rest of our lives
speeches---Our speeches were so thoughtful. Not only did our best man and maid of honor/matron of honor give speeches, but so did Amber (bridesmaid), Rashad (groomsman) and Ryan (my brother). Jose (best man) speech was funny and poked fun at my husband. Katie and Himee (maids of honor) read a poem together which highlighted my less than perfect past. Amber's speech was thoughtful and reminiscent, as was Rashad's. I think everyone was shocked by my brother's speech. Ryan and I love each other so much, but we fight often like good siblings do. So, when he gave his speech I was surprised to know how much he admired Mr. Soup and I.
Siberian Huskies---I had so much trouble finding the perfect signature drink. Murad and I were arguing over a fact about Huskies (the dogs). When I went to google the correct answer to prove him wrong, the drink popped up instead of the dog! I hadn't even tried the drink. I just knew I wanted it because of the name! It turned out to be a perfect drink. The bartender told us they were a hit among the masses. Many of my friends loved them too. I think Amber had one too many that night and was hurting the next day. Even though we couldn't incorporate our actual dogs in the wedding, I think the drinks were a hit! I need to make one a test it out!
the last dance---Mr. Soup and I enjoyed our last dance together on the dance floor. It was just him and me. It was the perfect way to end our evening
bubbles---immediately after the last dance was our bubble exit! We were so glad to see everyone outside as we left! What a perfect way to end our night!
comfy beds---Mr. Soup and I jumped on the hotel bed to eat leftover food, chocolate covered strawberries and sip wine. We also did some other things, but I won't type them here ;) Needless to say, we got a good night's sleep on our comfortable bed!

Vendor Reviews

So, my next post is definitely going to be a wedding highlights post! There were so many wonderful (and a few not-so-wonderful pre-wedding) things about our big day! I keep reliving it over and over in my mind! It was the happiest day of my life! I just loved it. However, I decided to post my vendor reviews over here. Some of my vendors asked me to write reviews of their services and I wanted to do this for the ladies on the Dallas Knot Boards. I used the Knot to plan my entire wedding. I found so many resources and saved a ton of $$. I hope other "knotties" can do the same!

Ceremony & Reception--Dallas Arts Center A+++++

Could not have asked for a more perfect venue. Shari was there for my every need. She had tons of decorative stuff for us to borrow for the ceremony. For example, our centerpieces were all from her. She coordinated our rehearsal and made sure everything was exactly how my husband and I envisioned. If you are looking for a unique, urban location, this place is it!

Guest Accommodations, Bridal Suite, Honeymoon Suite, Rehearsal Dinner--Hotel Indigo A+++++

Our guests loved staying at Hotel Indigo. It is walking distance from DAC and close to many other locations such as the JFK museum and Old Red Courthouse. the people there were so accommodating. they helped my father up and down the stairs. My parents' room was a little too hot and they immediately checked out the situation and moved them to a cooler room when they couldn't fix it. The doorman, Lawrence, was awesome. He even surprised my HUSBAND and I with a bottle of wine, chocolate covered strawberries and a card! This unique hotel is the original Hilton Dallas Hotel. It has been renovated and includes a fresh color palate. My photographer got some awesome shots of me and my bridal party as we headed over to DAC. our rehearsal dinner included chicken marsala, salad, grilled vegetables, rice pilaf, cheesecake and wine for 35 people. the chicken was delicious! My husband and my mom still rave about it. They also gave us a complimentary upgrade to a larger room for our dinner.

Catering-- Black Eyed Pea Catering A++++

services included catering, serving, bartending. for appetizers guests munched on cheese, crackers, fruit and shrimp. we had a dinner buffet of steak, salmon, salad, steamed broccoli, green beans and new potatoes. their staff was awesome! they made sure my husband and I had a plate to eat that night and they packed up all the leftovers for us to take home. we will have steak, broccoli and potatoes for a whole week! heather, jesse and the team are awesome. They are so down to earth as well. BEP's costs are a fraction of what most caterers charge in Dallas. there was one server who interrupted the speeches to pass out cake, but other than that, their staff was very professional and courteous.

Florist--my momma A+++++ we did silk flowers. say what you will about silk, but I think they turned out excellent. My mom added little charms to my girls' bouquets that said "best friends"

Engagement Photographer--A++++++--Kathryn McLaren for Novella Photography

She is my best friend and matron of honor. She took awesome pictures of us in downtown Dallas, Deep Ellum, Rockwall and in Richardson. She has a great vision and gets those unique shots that not everyone can find. She is truly gifted and I'm so happy that we were able to be her subjects. She made us look damn good! She even made a slideshow set to music of our pictures. She also designed a welcome sign/collage for our wedding. She lives in Kansas, but is willing to travel for business

Wedding Photographer-- Manuel Crespo A++++ I haven't gotten back our pics yet, but I'm sure they were spectacular. Manny was great, but he's a little soft spoken. I wish he would've been a little more directive with where he put people. Sometimes, he just said things like "file around her or stand around them." there were many times our wedding party was very confused. however, he did get my vision about non-traditional pics. We took pics in front of the majestic theater and municipal building, as well as throughout hotel indigo. we only did a few posed pics for the family, which is exactly what I wanted!

Cake--Cakes by Joyce A+++++ her cakes were delicious! my only regret is that we didn't order more carrot cake. It was the hit of the night! I had people who had never tried carrot cake (because it's usually dry) try hers and love it! Our wedding cake (white cake with raspberry filling) was delicious and beautiful! I can't wait to post pictures!

Harpist--Carole Kaney-Francis A +++++ she did an amazing job. her music was pefect with the simplicity and elegance of our wedding. I absolutely loved it. I could hear her playing while I was waiting to go in and I was so impressed! I recommend the harp over any instrument for a wedding! I highly recommend Carole!

Vocalist--Amber Renae Bush A+++++she was a last minute addition to our wedding. she recently won Eagle Idol (UNT's American Idol), so my husband took the opportunity to ask her to sing at our wedding. She agreed and arrived at our rehearsal and ceremony with such a positive vibe! She really wowed our guests with her version of Ribbon in the Sky during our Unity Sand ceremony.

Officiant-- B- Reverend Diane Robertson

Diane is great. She is very personable and she definitely is a family woman. However, she tried to take over our rehearsal on Friday night and she really stressed me out. She changed things from the program I sent her and from the ceremony outline. Luckily, Shari and my husband were able to fix the problems and our ceremony was a success. I think she is a great minister, but she has her ideas about how things should be done and doesn't like to budge. She also tried to convince my family and wedding party that Shari was the one who wasn't open to new ideas and that was not the case. I also did not think that was a very professional way to handle the situation. However, once we (re)-explained exactly how we wanted the ceremony to go she was fine and made our ceremony beautiful. On Saturday, I could not have asked for a more perfect ceremony and that is all that mattered!

My Dress--my momma-- A+++++Words cannot express how much I love this dress. I want to go grab it and put it on. I think my only regret is that I can't wear it more than once! My mom put a lot of love and labor into this work and it shows. Most people could not believe that she made my dress. It really looked like something from a bridal salon. This dress is my most prized possession right now. I absolutely love it!

Bridesmaid Dresses-- F--David's Bridal

I really do not like David's Bridal! I originally planned on buying a different dress from a different designer, but for some reason I ended up switching to David's Bridal. I knew all the horror stories and my mom even tried to warn me, but I went for convenience (they have locations all over the nation and my bridesmaid are scattered across the nation). However, my experience was anything, but convenient. First, they discontinued the style of dress I wanted after two bridesmaids already purchased theirs. So, I could only pick out a new dress for everyone as long as it was the exact price or more than the discontinued dress. However, they had very few dresses in the champagne color available. they said it was a spring color (it was fall when I ordered them) and I should try a more fall or winter color. if my wedding is in spring, why the hell would I want a fall or winter color? three of my bridesmaids had no problems with their dresses at all. However, one bridesmaid had $85 worth of alterations and they ordered the wrong size for my maid of honor. She did not get her dress until March 13th because they had to make hers specially for her, however she still had $85 worth of alterations. Ridiculous. Stay far from David's Bridal. I'm so glad I didn't purchase my wedding dress from them because I hear that is a nightmare.

Tuxedos--C--Men's Wearhouse

their selection was great and matched exactly to my bridesmaid sash. I don't know much about my husband's experience with them, but I know they did end up sending my brother's tux and the best man's tux to the wrong store, making it a hassle for both of them.

Liquor-- A--Goody Goody Liquor in Addison

great selection and they helped me pick out the cheapest alcohol for our wedding. they also accept unopened bottles, so you can make money back if your guests don't consume it all. I have a lot of bottles to return, so I can't wait for the cash! my only complaint is that my order wasn't ready when I came to pick it up, so I had to wait for 10 minutes while they got it all together, but other than that, they were friendly and helpful.

DJ--A DJ Connection

Our DJ was Luke and he was great. He had a great personality and our guests loved him. However, he didn't play all of the songs I sent him and he mixed up the father of the bride and first dance song. However, DJ Connection is a great company and I'm really glad we went with them.

engagement ring-- A+++ Whiteflash.com. my husband told me he was saving for an engagement ring and instead of trusting him to pick it out, I helped him. I knew he had looked at the more traditional stores, but he was on a budget and couldn't find what he liked. We did some research online and found Whiteflash. I told my fiance what shapes of diamond (oval and pear) I liked and he picked out the metal (platinum). He looked at a couple of diamonds and within a week, they had a design and within two weeks they delivered it to my parents' home in KS (he did that to avoid the Texas tax). He actually ended up being under his budget! I wish we could've bought our bands through whiteflash, but their prices have skyrocketed since he bought my engagement ring. we both plan to upgrade to diamond & platinum bands in a five or ten years, so hopefully they'll still be around.

wedding bands -- A+++--Samsclub.com

we needed wedding bands and they had them. we went into Sam's to get sized and then ordered them online. My band was delivered in a few days and my husband's in a a week. I have a thin wedding platinum band and he has a thick (manly) platinum band.

invitations and other paper products--me! I can't really grade myself.

I used a template from the Paper Source website to make the invitation design. I ordered the text sheet, outer envelopes, and RSVP envelopes from envelopemall.com. I ordered the backing from mygatsby.com I ordered stamps from Vistaprint.com. I bought the paper for the sash from Michael's. I had a blast making the invitations and they came out to be exactly what I wanted. I also saved a lot of money on them. I also made the programs with paper from discount cardstock.com and menus from envelopemall.com. I used publisher for everything.

flowergirl dress --C --Flower Girl Princess.com huge selection and cheap price! my stepdaughter's dress matched perfectly. My only complaint is that they sent the wrong size and so I followed the directions to do an exchange and I never could get in touch with them. Luckily, the dress fit her perfectly, so it wasn't an issue.

Unity Sand--A++ Moon Glow Candles

cheap and beautiful! the sand "matched" David's Bridal's champagne & periwinkle, so it worked out perfectly.

Hair & Make-up--- A+++++++ Arriayanna Ware with Git Yourself by Yani
She is my friend and stylist! My hair was beautiful beyond words. I was a little weary of weave, but she made it look so beautiful! She also lightened the mood and made a few wedding errands for me! She is an awesome woman with a gift for styling!

Honeymoon---??
we plan to honeymoon in March 2010. Ideally we'd like to travel to Punta Cana, DR for 5-7 days to an all-inclusive resort. we'd only like to spend $1200 per person including airfare. If you can help us out, let us know!

wedding weekend

Wedding Weekend

some pictures from the weekend including the rehearsal dinner and bachelor party at Purgatory

Wedding Pictures 2

Wedding Pictures

While we wait for the professional photos, please enjoy some from our guest photographers!