People always ask me how it's going being back in the workforce. I have to remind people that I still worked when I was home with Joel. I just didn't work a traditional 9-5, but I digress. Well, working outside of the home again has been the biggest blessing for our family.
Financial
We were able to stay afloat for most of the time while I was home with Joely, but we never really had room for extras. We had to abandon some of our home improvement projects, we weren't able to save, and we couldn't pay off debts as quickly as we used to. However, we did do some remodeling and we were able to buy a new-to-us car. However, my paychecks weren't steady and in the summer I lost some contracts (and walked away from a horrible writing job) which really rocked us financially. Now, we're working to rebuild our financial security. We have money for extras and we're doing some small DIY home improvement projects.
Fulfillment
I have a job that makes me feel like I'm making a difference in the world. I'm able to use my creativity to craft appealing, interesting presentations. I'm able to tap into my curiosity to research, analyze and evaluate various programs. I'm also able to interact directly with youth which is a huge bonus!
Modern Family
When Murad and I first married this was the life I envisioned for us. We get up every morning and help each other get ourselves and Joely ready for school. We balance brushing our teeth, reading, eating, and dressing to get out of the door by 7:30am. Our evenings are spent cooking, watching movies, doing laundry, and playing in the yard when weather permits. We're balancing pediatrician appointments, late night meetings, last minute emergencies, etc. Our life is beautiful chaos.
Joely
We probably never would've thought to send Joely to school at two, and honestly, I kind of wanted to steer away from Montessori. It always sounded pretentious to me. I planned to stay home with Joely and send him to his sitter part-time and to the little Lutheran pre-school around the corner a couple of mornings a week. I'm very thankful that this worked out. He loves going to school and I'm so thankful he is able to attend a diverse school with children of all ethnicities. Growing up, my schools were pretty homogeneous until I got to middle school. I was always the only or one of a few black or mixed kids in my school. Joel is learning so much, and I really don't think we'd be this far in potty-training if he went anywhere else.
I think the only Campbell folks not benefiting from me being at work are our dogs. Poor Sam and Maya spend more time at home and go on less walks. Fortunately, I have summers off, so I'll be able to walk them then. Of course, it'll be hotter than Hades when that happens. Oh, well.
That's how things are going for us in the Soup Kitchen. All's good now that Mama is a working again!
Showing posts with label Murad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Murad. Show all posts
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Happy New Year, Folks!
2013 has come and gone! While it was a great year, I'm more than ready for 2014! Well, good thing! It's here!
This weekend is a little weird for me. My husband and son are on a road trip. Yep! A father/son road trip. They're stopping at my parents' house tonight and then heading to western Kansas to visit my stepdaughter, Abby. We were able to spend Christmas with Abby and her family this year. Since our spring is pretty hectic, Murad and Joely decided to make a trip to see her again now. She's having a hard time again. They just moved (again)to a different small town in Kansas. I think this makes move #5 for the 2013-14 school year. We talked to Abby about possibly living with her grandmother permanently (we'd love for her to come live with us, but Texas might be too far from her family for her), but Abby extremely loyal to her mom and doesn't want to abandon her at this time. We're respecting her wishes, and offering support when we can.
So, this weekend, they're gone and I'm up late looking through photos from 2013. I like the quiet and having a clean home, but I miss my boys. Fortunately, I have my furry-babies to keep me company.
I've almost got Joel's playroom complete. I need to paint it, but I'm really impressed with how it all turned out. The great thing is that he loves it! He loves to play ball in there, watch TV and color. The room is pretty relaxing. I find myself watching TV in there after he goes to bed. We're kind of preparing the room for him. We're hoping, if it's God's will, that we'll have another baby soon. Joely will then move out of the nursery and into the playroom (big boy room). For now, we're content with the playing purpose of the room. We're actually pretty content with our family too. If we add to it, even better. If not, we're a happy bunch of three (or five if you count Sampson & Maya).
Murad and I refrained from making New Year's resolutions, but we did vow to better ourselves. I'm working with the Plano Environmental Committee to become a volunteer. We're also looking for a way to take a Spanish class. Murad actually suggested it, and I'm totally excited to do something just the two of us. We kind of let those moments get by us in 2012. We were better about scheduling date nights in 2013, but for 2014 we wanna do more activities together. Plus, if we learn Spanish, it'll help us in our jobs. It'll also help Joely. He only gets Spanish once a week at his school, so we're hoping to support and expand it at home. We're also hoping to find a new church home. We're looking for a more open, accepting and service oriented church.
This post would not be complete without an update on our little man! Joely is constantly flourishing. His language is developing daily. Today he saw some lights twinkling far behind a field and he goes, "fireflies!" It was just a cell tower in the distance, but he didn't know. He also likes to point to his favorite Jayhawk shirt. When he says it, he can't pronounce his R's very well. "Mama, it's Jayhawk shit!" So, so funny. Right now he's going through a sports phase. He wants to carry a ball wherever he goes. He's either kicking, throwing or bouncing a ball (he calls basketball "BB-ball"). He also loves to draw pictures for us. One of his favorite activities is cleaning. I wanna see if I can get him a little kitchen set as he likes to point out the fruits and vegetables as I cook. We're working at potty training still. Apparently, he goes regularly at school, but he's not so good about going at home. We decided against moving him up the 3 class until he's pottying at home and school regularly. I think my favorite thing right now are Joely's hugs and kisses. Some days he'll look at me and go, "mommy hug." Then he leans over and gives me the biggest hug. Thinking about those hugs right now makes me miss him even more. Monday will arrive soon and I'll be back to motherhood. I tried to soak up as many hugs as I could before he left, but it's. just. not. enough.
This weekend is a little weird for me. My husband and son are on a road trip. Yep! A father/son road trip. They're stopping at my parents' house tonight and then heading to western Kansas to visit my stepdaughter, Abby. We were able to spend Christmas with Abby and her family this year. Since our spring is pretty hectic, Murad and Joely decided to make a trip to see her again now. She's having a hard time again. They just moved (again)to a different small town in Kansas. I think this makes move #5 for the 2013-14 school year. We talked to Abby about possibly living with her grandmother permanently (we'd love for her to come live with us, but Texas might be too far from her family for her), but Abby extremely loyal to her mom and doesn't want to abandon her at this time. We're respecting her wishes, and offering support when we can.
So, this weekend, they're gone and I'm up late looking through photos from 2013. I like the quiet and having a clean home, but I miss my boys. Fortunately, I have my furry-babies to keep me company.
I've almost got Joel's playroom complete. I need to paint it, but I'm really impressed with how it all turned out. The great thing is that he loves it! He loves to play ball in there, watch TV and color. The room is pretty relaxing. I find myself watching TV in there after he goes to bed. We're kind of preparing the room for him. We're hoping, if it's God's will, that we'll have another baby soon. Joely will then move out of the nursery and into the playroom (big boy room). For now, we're content with the playing purpose of the room. We're actually pretty content with our family too. If we add to it, even better. If not, we're a happy bunch of three (or five if you count Sampson & Maya).
Murad and I refrained from making New Year's resolutions, but we did vow to better ourselves. I'm working with the Plano Environmental Committee to become a volunteer. We're also looking for a way to take a Spanish class. Murad actually suggested it, and I'm totally excited to do something just the two of us. We kind of let those moments get by us in 2012. We were better about scheduling date nights in 2013, but for 2014 we wanna do more activities together. Plus, if we learn Spanish, it'll help us in our jobs. It'll also help Joely. He only gets Spanish once a week at his school, so we're hoping to support and expand it at home. We're also hoping to find a new church home. We're looking for a more open, accepting and service oriented church.
This post would not be complete without an update on our little man! Joely is constantly flourishing. His language is developing daily. Today he saw some lights twinkling far behind a field and he goes, "fireflies!" It was just a cell tower in the distance, but he didn't know. He also likes to point to his favorite Jayhawk shirt. When he says it, he can't pronounce his R's very well. "Mama, it's Jayhawk shit!" So, so funny. Right now he's going through a sports phase. He wants to carry a ball wherever he goes. He's either kicking, throwing or bouncing a ball (he calls basketball "BB-ball"). He also loves to draw pictures for us. One of his favorite activities is cleaning. I wanna see if I can get him a little kitchen set as he likes to point out the fruits and vegetables as I cook. We're working at potty training still. Apparently, he goes regularly at school, but he's not so good about going at home. We decided against moving him up the 3 class until he's pottying at home and school regularly. I think my favorite thing right now are Joely's hugs and kisses. Some days he'll look at me and go, "mommy hug." Then he leans over and gives me the biggest hug. Thinking about those hugs right now makes me miss him even more. Monday will arrive soon and I'll be back to motherhood. I tried to soak up as many hugs as I could before he left, but it's. just. not. enough.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
How I Know We're Soulmates
I know it sounds cliche to say that as the years roll by I fall more in love with my husband, but it really is true. We're approaching year 5 in March 2014. Since becoming parents 2 1/2 years ago, our relationship has changed dramatically. While some grow apart, I think I've realized more and more why we're supposed to be together forever. That's not to say that our marriage is not without challenges, but each day we're learning more about how to make our marriage work. I think the hardest part is putting our marriage first, but we're slowly learning.
1. We both love old homes.
We've been talking about moving in four or five years to a bigger home, possibly a two-story home (if we can afford it). We really love living in Plano, so we'd likely stay in this area maybe within our neighborhood. Our house was built in 1973, so it's definitely seasoned. We love that. Our home has so much character. I also like that there is only one other look-alike house in our neighborhood. We've been driving around looking at neighborhoods, and I think we were both relieved that neither one of us wanted a "new" house (something built in the last 15 years) or to try to build a house (not that we could afford to anyways).
2. We both love the terrible-twos.
The terrible twos are terrible most days, but it's because there is a lot of learning going on. Learning on our part and Joely's. We love watching him learn something or figure out something. We love watching him attempt to be independent. This really is a magical age.
3. We believe in relevant consequences.
Last night we went to dinner at my cousin's house. We both felt a sense of relief in learning that she and her husband do not spank their son. I always thought spanking was the norm and that you weren't a good parent unless you spanked. Recently, Murad and I realized that spanking didn't work with Joel (we rarely did it. I think only when he did something dangerous). In fact, we realized that Joely responded better to different consequences. Time-out has been such a blessing to us. Joely actually likes time-outs because he can remove himself from the stressor or distraction, he comes back refreshed and ready to play. Also, Joely really understands verbal communication, and can read non-verbal cues very well. Today, he just started saying "sorry" when he does something wrong. More importantly, we don't want Joely to ever fear us. We want him to come to us if he's in trouble. We also want to show him that just like we expect him to respect us, we respect him as well. We are his parents and he is our child, but we can still show mutual respect.
4. We love discounts.
I think most people like to brag about how much money they spend on things. We like to brag about how much money we save. If you come to our home you'll see very few "new" items. We do that we because we like recycled and repurposed furniture. It makes our house feel like a home. It also feels good to say that we bought a "brand new chaise lounge from our neighbors for $50," or "I got this Nike outfit for Joel for $12 instead of $50."
5. We realize we're works in progress.
We're still learning how to be adults. We're still navigating this world in which we live. We make mistakes daily. Big mistakes. Small mistakes. We're learning how to manage our money better (funny how more money really does create more problems!) Saving more, etc. We're learning how to parent as well. Fortunately, we try to laugh as we go through life together.
6. We've learned to lean on each other.
I think now more than ever we reflect on our vows. We've learned to support each other through the hard times and what support really is. Each day we learn something new and it brings us a little closer to each other.
1. We both love old homes.
We've been talking about moving in four or five years to a bigger home, possibly a two-story home (if we can afford it). We really love living in Plano, so we'd likely stay in this area maybe within our neighborhood. Our house was built in 1973, so it's definitely seasoned. We love that. Our home has so much character. I also like that there is only one other look-alike house in our neighborhood. We've been driving around looking at neighborhoods, and I think we were both relieved that neither one of us wanted a "new" house (something built in the last 15 years) or to try to build a house (not that we could afford to anyways).
2. We both love the terrible-twos.
The terrible twos are terrible most days, but it's because there is a lot of learning going on. Learning on our part and Joely's. We love watching him learn something or figure out something. We love watching him attempt to be independent. This really is a magical age.
3. We believe in relevant consequences.
Last night we went to dinner at my cousin's house. We both felt a sense of relief in learning that she and her husband do not spank their son. I always thought spanking was the norm and that you weren't a good parent unless you spanked. Recently, Murad and I realized that spanking didn't work with Joel (we rarely did it. I think only when he did something dangerous). In fact, we realized that Joely responded better to different consequences. Time-out has been such a blessing to us. Joely actually likes time-outs because he can remove himself from the stressor or distraction, he comes back refreshed and ready to play. Also, Joely really understands verbal communication, and can read non-verbal cues very well. Today, he just started saying "sorry" when he does something wrong. More importantly, we don't want Joely to ever fear us. We want him to come to us if he's in trouble. We also want to show him that just like we expect him to respect us, we respect him as well. We are his parents and he is our child, but we can still show mutual respect.
4. We love discounts.
I think most people like to brag about how much money they spend on things. We like to brag about how much money we save. If you come to our home you'll see very few "new" items. We do that we because we like recycled and repurposed furniture. It makes our house feel like a home. It also feels good to say that we bought a "brand new chaise lounge from our neighbors for $50," or "I got this Nike outfit for Joel for $12 instead of $50."
5. We realize we're works in progress.
We're still learning how to be adults. We're still navigating this world in which we live. We make mistakes daily. Big mistakes. Small mistakes. We're learning how to manage our money better (funny how more money really does create more problems!) Saving more, etc. We're learning how to parent as well. Fortunately, we try to laugh as we go through life together.
6. We've learned to lean on each other.
I think now more than ever we reflect on our vows. We've learned to support each other through the hard times and what support really is. Each day we learn something new and it brings us a little closer to each other.
Friday, September 27, 2013
I have not blogged in a while
Tonight, I felt completely overwhelmed with laundry and housework. Our laundry baskets are overflowing, and there are clean clothes that need to be put away. I cleaned half of both bathrooms. And don't even get me started on organizing our office. I took cleaned up some, folded some laundry and then decided to sit down and update my blog. However, I'm just now getting around to it because I've been reading about everyone's wonderful lives on Blogger. I will say, it's so much more fulfilling to read blogs than Facebook statuses. I feel like those are kinda like short screams. Blogger makes me feel as though I'm watching a play. I picture you writing your posts. Some of you I picture with pumpkin lattes from Starbucks, while others I picture stealing some alone time near a good window. Thank you for letting me peak into your lives.So much has occurred since my June 20th post. I'm working full-time again. Joely is in preschool. Murad is running groups for MDA. Our house is falling apart (not just because of laundry and cleaning...) Nevertheless, we're all happy and healthy, for the most part.
June kind of hit me hard. I applied for, interviewed for and accepted my dream job with my old district; however, many of my writing and online teaching contracts ended unexpectedly. I scrambled to find work and really struggled to make ends meet. It was a difficult time for me, but I'm very fortunate to be able to slowly pick myself back up financially. I'm also learning to take it one day at a time, celebrate successes, problem-solve for failures and be thankful that I got through the summer. I did have a great time working at the writing center, editing dissertations, writing for online magazines and teaching high school students through Upward Bound.
Since the middle of August, I have been working for my old school district as a Student Assistance Program Specialist. You might ask what that position entails. I sort of work as a prevention specialist by coordinating many of the prevention programs - bullying, drugs, & alcohol. I also do team-building on the secondary campuses for teachers, other specialists and student groups. Things I love about my job:
-getting to dress up each day
-having a cubicle
-wearing heels every day
-free bottles of water
-visiting all the schools
-working with kids
-learning about all the different schools
-my coworkers
-having a 12 minute commute
things I don't like:
-my feet hurt all the time
-my knees hurt
-it's cold in our office. like really, really cold
Since I decided to go back to work and Joel's sitter decided to go back to school, we started looking at preschool/daycares. We toured what seemed like thousands of schools (it was like five) and finally found one we loved. It's in Richardson, so I get an RISD teacher discount, but it's close enough to Plano that Murad can take him to school on his way to downtown Dallas. It's a Montessori school with a daycare in it, so Joel goes to school from 8:00am-3:00pm. From 3:00pm-6:30pm are daycare hours (and 7:00am-8:00am). Murad usually drops him off at 7:45am and I pick him up around 4:45pm most days. We have really been impressed with the education he's receiving. He barely talked before and now he's saying sentences. He puts his toys away and his plates away at each meal. Today he spilled yogurt on himself and he came up to me and asked, "Can you help me?" Tonight he told Murad, "Daddy, I'm tired!" He's started singing his ABC's and he's counting more. He loves to read us books and he holds up the pages to us so that we can see the pictures. Of course, he's still obsessed with Elmo, so most of the books he picks feature him. He also loves looking at the babies in the nursery at his school. Sending him to school has not been without challenges. He cried everyday for the first couple of weeks. Yesterday, he threw up 3x at school and once at home. Last week he got in trouble for pinching and biting the same kid two days in a row. Today, he got a bad report for scratching two other kids. We do not know what is going on. We've tried lecturing him about his behavior, but it's kinda hard because we're doing it so late after the fact. I tried acting out with Elmo & Cookie Monster as models how to behave. He rolled his eyes. Oh yeah, he's been rolling eyes at anyone who says something he doesn't like. His behavior sometimes rivals that of a teenage girl. I know all this is normal toddler behavior, but it is overwhelmingly frustrating. I just wish I knew what was going through his head. I can't help but wonder if it's something more than normal toddler behavior. Is there something we're missing? I could worry myself into a frenzy if I let myself. I think some of it is guilt too. Our previous, previous daycare providers were less than stellar which prompted me to stay home with him. Also, Murad had a lot of apprehension about me returning to work. I know he loved having me home with Joely, and like me, could see the benefit of Joel having a stay-at-home mom. However, I do think Joely having a mom who is happy with her career is okay too. I feel like we have a new life each year, and I'm falling in love with our new life and finding joy in all that Joely is learning even if it means I have to share him with others.
Maya has to have surgery. She injured herself playing/fighting with Sampson. I'm too upset to really finish typing about it. They always go crazy in the summer due to the heat, but this summer was bad. I love my Maya.
Yeah. Our house. We planned to start renovating our master bathroom. We've got foundation problems to fix. So, for now we're all using Joel's bathroom until we can finish gutting ours....I must say that despite all the issues this house has, I love it. It's so perfect for our little family. I feel like we've really made it our home. I also really love living in Plano. Each day I discover another treasure (usually a restaurant). I'm so glad Joely will grow up here. I have to remind myself that despite all the hurdles that I feel were suddenly thrust my way, God has given me the strength to get through them. I'm also very thankful for the life I have. I'm finally doing a job I love. Murad loves his job. I feel like we've finally arrived where we thought we'd be when we first started this journey together. It seems so surreal. I have to remind myself that it's real. When I get down on myself, I try to remind myself that I have a beautiful family and rewarding career.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Writing
So, as many of you know I left full-time public school teaching at the end of the last school year. I knew when I left that I would not come back to teach in that environment. There were many reasons for my departure:
1. I wanted to spend more time with Joel. I never planned to be a stay-at-home mom, but there were many things that happened that led me to stay at home part-time with Joel. We had a horrible experience with his first daycare provider. We love his current provider, but we wanted to take on more of an active role in his daily life. I didn't want to feel as though his child care provider took my place. I know that probably wouldn't have happened, but I just see more of a disconnect in our generation with our kids. I'll discuss that more in another post. Anyways, Joel goes to daycare 2-3 times a week and we love it.
2. I became disillusioned with public school teaching. It just wasn't fun anymore. I no longer had the desire to spend extra hours tutoring, attending meetings, or conducting state-assessment prep camps. When Joel was born, I also stopped believing in public education, and that has become a big issue in our family as we have to decide quickly if he'll attend public school or private school or a mixture of the two.
3. I wanted to pursue a college-teaching career. I still do, but it is difficult to get a full-time teaching job at a community college or university, so I've been teaching part-time, which works well for our family.
4. I wanted to pursue my writing career. Back in 2007, I really started to delve into creative non-fiction and fiction. It started with creating little stories for my students. I also did a 3-week writing workshop through my school district one summer which helped to solidify that desire. Murad always encouraged me to write, but I never had the time and after many rejections, I just didn't know what to do. This past fall, I started writing again. I was hired on at a few educational start-ups doing script-writing and passage-writing, but was let go due to lack of funding. I also did publish some articles here and there and started a small resume-writing service, but didn't have much success. Well, now I have a steady freelance gig with Modern Dental Practice Marketing! I write blog entries for dental practice blogs. Looks like there will be more opportunities to do website-writing, etc. Since the blog posts are to be written as if I work at the dentists' office, I will not post links to my posts on my Ashlea Campbell Writing blog. In fact, I am thinking of taking down the blog. I can do a lot more through my Facebook page and it seems as though more people follow me there than on my blog or Twitter. Anyways, I'm excited about my new journey. I promise to post more of my writing when I can!
I leave you with a picture of my boys! I love them so much and couldn't imagine my life without them. Our little man will be 23 months tomorrow! We're a month away from two! He makes me smile so much. Today, we played in the yard, took a walk and watched movies on the couch. Perfect Sunday with them. Of course, he did eat everything in sight today, but that's my son!.JPG)
1. I wanted to spend more time with Joel. I never planned to be a stay-at-home mom, but there were many things that happened that led me to stay at home part-time with Joel. We had a horrible experience with his first daycare provider. We love his current provider, but we wanted to take on more of an active role in his daily life. I didn't want to feel as though his child care provider took my place. I know that probably wouldn't have happened, but I just see more of a disconnect in our generation with our kids. I'll discuss that more in another post. Anyways, Joel goes to daycare 2-3 times a week and we love it.
2. I became disillusioned with public school teaching. It just wasn't fun anymore. I no longer had the desire to spend extra hours tutoring, attending meetings, or conducting state-assessment prep camps. When Joel was born, I also stopped believing in public education, and that has become a big issue in our family as we have to decide quickly if he'll attend public school or private school or a mixture of the two.
3. I wanted to pursue a college-teaching career. I still do, but it is difficult to get a full-time teaching job at a community college or university, so I've been teaching part-time, which works well for our family.
4. I wanted to pursue my writing career. Back in 2007, I really started to delve into creative non-fiction and fiction. It started with creating little stories for my students. I also did a 3-week writing workshop through my school district one summer which helped to solidify that desire. Murad always encouraged me to write, but I never had the time and after many rejections, I just didn't know what to do. This past fall, I started writing again. I was hired on at a few educational start-ups doing script-writing and passage-writing, but was let go due to lack of funding. I also did publish some articles here and there and started a small resume-writing service, but didn't have much success. Well, now I have a steady freelance gig with Modern Dental Practice Marketing! I write blog entries for dental practice blogs. Looks like there will be more opportunities to do website-writing, etc. Since the blog posts are to be written as if I work at the dentists' office, I will not post links to my posts on my Ashlea Campbell Writing blog. In fact, I am thinking of taking down the blog. I can do a lot more through my Facebook page and it seems as though more people follow me there than on my blog or Twitter. Anyways, I'm excited about my new journey. I promise to post more of my writing when I can!
I leave you with a picture of my boys! I love them so much and couldn't imagine my life without them. Our little man will be 23 months tomorrow! We're a month away from two! He makes me smile so much. Today, we played in the yard, took a walk and watched movies on the couch. Perfect Sunday with them. Of course, he did eat everything in sight today, but that's my son!
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Friday, May 11, 2012
Our New Life
As the school year winds down, I'm busier than ever. My grades for the community college are due Sunday and I have yet to do them. I'm in the middle of a training for one of my part-time jobs (more on that later). Tomorrow we head to a baby modeling casting call so that we can attempt to put some money away for Joel to attend college (don't worry...baby modeling is not our only mode of saving for college). Our six year anniversary is next week. Joel turns one on the 22nd. We leave for Philadelphia a few days later where we will celebrate one Joel-birthday and friends' wedding. The school year will end and I will not only pack up my classroom for the summer, but I will pack up forever. Family will travel to Texas for Joel's birthday party (his 2nd one). whew. sounds like a lot, right? It is.
This has been our life for the past few months. I think we always have something. Up until May 1st, it was Murad studying, studying, studying, etc. He did a very good job of balancing his parental duties with studying, but I know it was draining. With his new ADHD medication, he was able to be more focused, but it drained him emotionally and physically. Luckily, he was able to find a dosage that works better so that he's not so tired, hungry and grouchy (yes. I said it!) I loved coming home and finding my honey-do list complete! On May 1st, Murad passed his LMSW exam. He is now a licensed master social worker. This means so many things for our family, but it means the most to my husband. It's the validation he needed to feel good about being a social worker. Getting his master's degree was a huge accomplishment, but you really can't do anything with the degree without the license (or at least make a decent living). Now, he has the opportunity to move up at work, take on PRN jobs or just look for a whole new job. He's got so many options and I think that's what he is really excited about, especially now that we have a family. For now, he's comfortable staying at his current job, especially since it is so flexible.
With his licensure, Murad really encouraged and supported me as I turned in my resignation. Prior to him obtaining his license, I felt a little apprehensive about resigning. I kept saying I was 90% sure. My biggest concerns were financial, but Murad kept telling me that we'd be fine no matter what. Over the past five months, we've just been thinking and praying hard on this. I've been unhappy at work for a while and it doesn't seem like things will get any better next fall. Our former daycare situation scarred us and left us feeling that Joel needs to be home with his parents more. We absolutely love his new sitter and feel as though he has grown so much as a result of her care; however, the selfish part of me wants more time with my boy. The mommy part of me thinks he needs to be with me more. Honestly, I just love spending every minute I can with him. Despite this, I know he needs regular interaction with other adults and children, so we plan to send him to his sitter's twice a week (or more).
I am sad about leaving teaching. I think about all the things I'll miss about being around kids all day and it makes me very, very sad. I think about the friends I've made while working, and I feel overwhelmed with sadness. I feel like I'm abandoning them. the students. my friends. When I think about all the fun things Joel and I will do, it makes it worth it. I smile just thinking about the days ahead. So, on Tuesday I told my principal I would not be coming back and today I turned in my resignation forms. My principal was not happy. In fact, I was shocked at how sad he was. I just have to remember that my family needs me and that I will be extremely happy.
We can afford for me to work part-time, so I plan to teach a couple of classes at the local community college in the evening. Despite this, I also signed up to TA at an online university to make some extra money. Of course, I'll still write. In fact, if writing goes well, I'll drop one of the other jobs. I just think with still having an outstanding hospital bill, saving for a new car, and maybe someday having another baby, it would be good to have a cushion. Plus, having a home comes with unexpected financial surprises and we have seriously depleted our vacation fund(this summer, we're leaving Joel with my parents for a couple of nights while we attend a wedding. I told Murad if all goes well, we could go on another cruise for our 4 year anniversary. gotta start saving now!)
I think the funny part is I'm not struggling with finding my new identity. I guess it's because I get to have the best of both worlds. I'll still get to work outside the home which is something I really want to do, but I'll get to experience being a SAHM. Growing up, my parents both worked full-time outside of the home. Because they worked opposite shifts, it never felt as though we were stuck in daycare. My mom was able to spend the mornings and early afternoons with us, while my dad was on evening and bedtime duty. My parents were always "there." This was something I didn't realize or never really thought about. I didn't realize how badly I wanted it for Joel. Thankfully, Murad wants that too. So now, in true Soup fashion, we are creating our own little culture. We're both still going after our career dreams and passions, but we're also shaping our lives around an important little guy: Joel!
This has been our life for the past few months. I think we always have something. Up until May 1st, it was Murad studying, studying, studying, etc. He did a very good job of balancing his parental duties with studying, but I know it was draining. With his new ADHD medication, he was able to be more focused, but it drained him emotionally and physically. Luckily, he was able to find a dosage that works better so that he's not so tired, hungry and grouchy (yes. I said it!) I loved coming home and finding my honey-do list complete! On May 1st, Murad passed his LMSW exam. He is now a licensed master social worker. This means so many things for our family, but it means the most to my husband. It's the validation he needed to feel good about being a social worker. Getting his master's degree was a huge accomplishment, but you really can't do anything with the degree without the license (or at least make a decent living). Now, he has the opportunity to move up at work, take on PRN jobs or just look for a whole new job. He's got so many options and I think that's what he is really excited about, especially now that we have a family. For now, he's comfortable staying at his current job, especially since it is so flexible.
With his licensure, Murad really encouraged and supported me as I turned in my resignation. Prior to him obtaining his license, I felt a little apprehensive about resigning. I kept saying I was 90% sure. My biggest concerns were financial, but Murad kept telling me that we'd be fine no matter what. Over the past five months, we've just been thinking and praying hard on this. I've been unhappy at work for a while and it doesn't seem like things will get any better next fall. Our former daycare situation scarred us and left us feeling that Joel needs to be home with his parents more. We absolutely love his new sitter and feel as though he has grown so much as a result of her care; however, the selfish part of me wants more time with my boy. The mommy part of me thinks he needs to be with me more. Honestly, I just love spending every minute I can with him. Despite this, I know he needs regular interaction with other adults and children, so we plan to send him to his sitter's twice a week (or more).
I am sad about leaving teaching. I think about all the things I'll miss about being around kids all day and it makes me very, very sad. I think about the friends I've made while working, and I feel overwhelmed with sadness. I feel like I'm abandoning them. the students. my friends. When I think about all the fun things Joel and I will do, it makes it worth it. I smile just thinking about the days ahead. So, on Tuesday I told my principal I would not be coming back and today I turned in my resignation forms. My principal was not happy. In fact, I was shocked at how sad he was. I just have to remember that my family needs me and that I will be extremely happy.
We can afford for me to work part-time, so I plan to teach a couple of classes at the local community college in the evening. Despite this, I also signed up to TA at an online university to make some extra money. Of course, I'll still write. In fact, if writing goes well, I'll drop one of the other jobs. I just think with still having an outstanding hospital bill, saving for a new car, and maybe someday having another baby, it would be good to have a cushion. Plus, having a home comes with unexpected financial surprises and we have seriously depleted our vacation fund(this summer, we're leaving Joel with my parents for a couple of nights while we attend a wedding. I told Murad if all goes well, we could go on another cruise for our 4 year anniversary. gotta start saving now!)
I think the funny part is I'm not struggling with finding my new identity. I guess it's because I get to have the best of both worlds. I'll still get to work outside the home which is something I really want to do, but I'll get to experience being a SAHM. Growing up, my parents both worked full-time outside of the home. Because they worked opposite shifts, it never felt as though we were stuck in daycare. My mom was able to spend the mornings and early afternoons with us, while my dad was on evening and bedtime duty. My parents were always "there." This was something I didn't realize or never really thought about. I didn't realize how badly I wanted it for Joel. Thankfully, Murad wants that too. So now, in true Soup fashion, we are creating our own little culture. We're both still going after our career dreams and passions, but we're also shaping our lives around an important little guy: Joel!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
We turned 3!
Well, our marriage did! Yep. On Wednesday March 21st, 2012 we celebrated our three year anniversary. I didn't think it was possible to love Murad more than I did on that day 3 years ago, but I do! Sure there have been some bumps along the way, but I can honestly say that I have enjoyed each and every day with him.
In three years he's finally realized how important March Madness is to me. This year he even filled out a bracket and participated. That's love right there!
While being a parent isn't easy, I can honestly say sharing parenting duties with him is awesome. He's such a hands-on dad, and he makes sure I take care of myself. At the first sign of PPD, he was doing what he could to support me and urging me to contact my doctor. Even now, as I try to figure out what I want to be "when I grow up," he's supportive. I worry about finances, and he reminds me that we have a plan and that we'll be okay. He says, "we do things our own way, Ash."
And he's right...and that takes me back to our wedding (you knew I was going to find a way! to talk about that day). We really did do things our own way. I know I brag about doing things on a budget, but the truth is we were so lucky that our parents made generous contributions to make it possible. I think so many times we think we're entitled to a wedding (I know I did!), but I cannot thank my parents enough for hosting our wedding and to his parents for hosting our rehearsal dinner. Because of this, our only expenses were our venue (we splurged for a venue with a view of downtown Dallas), alcohol, and invitations (I wanted to make my own). And while our venue was pricey, it allowed us to do so many things. For example, since we avoided a country club or hotel ballroom, we were able to bring in our own alcohol and catering. This brought down our costs tremendously! We used a local restaurant chain for catering and I bought all the alcohol the day before from a liquor superstore. The convenience of our location meant our out-of-town guests could literally walk to our wedding and to many Dallas landmarks and museums.This was really important to us because we wanted guests to experience our city! I think most people took advantage of what the city has to offer and the night life.
In addition to our venue, I think the things that made our wedding special were the personalized details...homemade invitations, programs and menus, wedding dress made by my mom, signature drink in honor of our pups, guestbook quilt, broom made by mom, etc. They may not have been as important to our guests, but they were and still are important to us. As we prepare play a part in or serve as guests in 5 weddings in 2012 (1 in the spring in Philly, 2 in the summer in DFW, one in the summer in KC, and one in the fall in Dallas), I cannot wait to see how each couple chooses to express their love. I absolutely love this about weddings (that and the food and alcohol and the fact that we'll have a date-night). I look back at our wedding and I do not regret a thing. I loved everything about it! I do not wish we eloped or wish we had a smaller wedding. Ours was perfect for who we were and still represents us today. Happy 3rd anniversary to the love of my life! I love you! I loved our wedding and I am thankful for the marriage we have!
In three years he's finally realized how important March Madness is to me. This year he even filled out a bracket and participated. That's love right there!
While being a parent isn't easy, I can honestly say sharing parenting duties with him is awesome. He's such a hands-on dad, and he makes sure I take care of myself. At the first sign of PPD, he was doing what he could to support me and urging me to contact my doctor. Even now, as I try to figure out what I want to be "when I grow up," he's supportive. I worry about finances, and he reminds me that we have a plan and that we'll be okay. He says, "we do things our own way, Ash."
And he's right...and that takes me back to our wedding (you knew I was going to find a way! to talk about that day). We really did do things our own way. I know I brag about doing things on a budget, but the truth is we were so lucky that our parents made generous contributions to make it possible. I think so many times we think we're entitled to a wedding (I know I did!), but I cannot thank my parents enough for hosting our wedding and to his parents for hosting our rehearsal dinner. Because of this, our only expenses were our venue (we splurged for a venue with a view of downtown Dallas), alcohol, and invitations (I wanted to make my own). And while our venue was pricey, it allowed us to do so many things. For example, since we avoided a country club or hotel ballroom, we were able to bring in our own alcohol and catering. This brought down our costs tremendously! We used a local restaurant chain for catering and I bought all the alcohol the day before from a liquor superstore. The convenience of our location meant our out-of-town guests could literally walk to our wedding and to many Dallas landmarks and museums.This was really important to us because we wanted guests to experience our city! I think most people took advantage of what the city has to offer and the night life.
In addition to our venue, I think the things that made our wedding special were the personalized details...homemade invitations, programs and menus, wedding dress made by my mom, signature drink in honor of our pups, guestbook quilt, broom made by mom, etc. They may not have been as important to our guests, but they were and still are important to us. As we prepare play a part in or serve as guests in 5 weddings in 2012 (1 in the spring in Philly, 2 in the summer in DFW, one in the summer in KC, and one in the fall in Dallas), I cannot wait to see how each couple chooses to express their love. I absolutely love this about weddings (that and the food and alcohol and the fact that we'll have a date-night). I look back at our wedding and I do not regret a thing. I loved everything about it! I do not wish we eloped or wish we had a smaller wedding. Ours was perfect for who we were and still represents us today. Happy 3rd anniversary to the love of my life! I love you! I loved our wedding and I am thankful for the marriage we have!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Spring is here!
I've included a little picture of my main man Joel! Isn't he the cutest? I'm so glad I get to share my favorite time of year with him. Joel will be a spectator for mommy's crazy basketball loving behavior once March Madness starts! Of course, last week Joel passed out during the KU-Mizzou game!
As you can see in the picture, Joely has two more teeth! Today, I discovered two more are starting to come in as well. He now has six teeth, y'all! SIX! He's eating more and more. As a result, he's relying less on formula. In addition to that, he's not spitting up as much either! We knew this would happen and his pediatrician did too. It's a shame his former daycare providers didn't understand that he'd grow out of it. Yes, that was one of the many things that was wrong with him!
Spring is also the time of year when teachers start making decisions about the fall. Mr. Soup really wants me to pick up more classes at the community college (I can teach 3 and be part-time) and then possibly teach online and write more. His idea makes the most sense, but I still worry about money and insurance. He'd have to add Joely and me to his insurance. Not sure how much that would be. Just for me to add him to mine, it was like $700 a month! We'd save money on childcare and I could be home with Joely more. Since the daycare fiasco, I've wanted to keep Joely close to me. He loves his new placement,and they love him too, but I'm still a little jaded.
I don't know how I feel about working part-time because being a stay at home mom (SAHM) was not part of the plan for me. I always envisioned myself "working." I feel embarrassed to say that I, with tons of help from my amazing hubby, struggle to balance my home and work life. I don't know how my mom, who worked over 40 hours a week as a nurse, found time to keep a clean house, be involved in our schools, sew our clothes, etc. I think our generation of women are not like our mothers' generation. We're cut from a cheaper cloth. Nevertheless, this is my life right now. I'm hoping to continue working full-time, but I have to do what's best for my family.
Murad started studying for his test again hardcore. He joined a study group with one of his co-workers. They have a guy who is assigning readings and quizzes for them. At the end of this month he will take a two-day study seminar. He saw a psychiatrist this week who diagnosed him with ADD. This is something we suspected for a long time, but never thought to have it evaluated. Now that he knows he has it, he feels more empowered. Last night he said to me, "I'm not dumb, Ash." I hate that he ever felt that way. Now we take the knowledge and move forward. I'm happy for him and ready to be there every step of the way as he prepares to take the exam. It's amazing how after three years we lean on each other in times of need. I've had to miss tucking Joely in few nights this week. I know in the long run it doesn't matter who tucks Joely in, as long as it's a parent, but Murad knows it is important to me. He's tried his best to keep Joely up so that I can snuggle him. I'm so blessed to have such a loving, caring husband. My family is so, so beautiful!
Excited for family outings this spring!
As you can see in the picture, Joely has two more teeth! Today, I discovered two more are starting to come in as well. He now has six teeth, y'all! SIX! He's eating more and more. As a result, he's relying less on formula. In addition to that, he's not spitting up as much either! We knew this would happen and his pediatrician did too. It's a shame his former daycare providers didn't understand that he'd grow out of it. Yes, that was one of the many things that was wrong with him!
Spring is also the time of year when teachers start making decisions about the fall. Mr. Soup really wants me to pick up more classes at the community college (I can teach 3 and be part-time) and then possibly teach online and write more. His idea makes the most sense, but I still worry about money and insurance. He'd have to add Joely and me to his insurance. Not sure how much that would be. Just for me to add him to mine, it was like $700 a month! We'd save money on childcare and I could be home with Joely more. Since the daycare fiasco, I've wanted to keep Joely close to me. He loves his new placement,and they love him too, but I'm still a little jaded.
I don't know how I feel about working part-time because being a stay at home mom (SAHM) was not part of the plan for me. I always envisioned myself "working." I feel embarrassed to say that I, with tons of help from my amazing hubby, struggle to balance my home and work life. I don't know how my mom, who worked over 40 hours a week as a nurse, found time to keep a clean house, be involved in our schools, sew our clothes, etc. I think our generation of women are not like our mothers' generation. We're cut from a cheaper cloth. Nevertheless, this is my life right now. I'm hoping to continue working full-time, but I have to do what's best for my family.
Murad started studying for his test again hardcore. He joined a study group with one of his co-workers. They have a guy who is assigning readings and quizzes for them. At the end of this month he will take a two-day study seminar. He saw a psychiatrist this week who diagnosed him with ADD. This is something we suspected for a long time, but never thought to have it evaluated. Now that he knows he has it, he feels more empowered. Last night he said to me, "I'm not dumb, Ash." I hate that he ever felt that way. Now we take the knowledge and move forward. I'm happy for him and ready to be there every step of the way as he prepares to take the exam. It's amazing how after three years we lean on each other in times of need. I've had to miss tucking Joely in few nights this week. I know in the long run it doesn't matter who tucks Joely in, as long as it's a parent, but Murad knows it is important to me. He's tried his best to keep Joely up so that I can snuggle him. I'm so blessed to have such a loving, caring husband. My family is so, so beautiful!
Excited for family outings this spring!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Dirty 30!
Well, as many of you know, I am now thirty years old! My official birthday was Thursday. I can hear the "womp, womp" in the background as you realize that I was at work on my birthday. Definitely not fun, but my students made it a success. One student brought me a cupcake from Sprinkles, another one brought me a (fake) Gucci scarf, and I received handmade countless posters (including a Jayhawk one). One of my students brought me whole wheat toast with Nutella. This may seem a little weird, but we bonded over our love of whole weat toast and Nutella. I think we are the only ones in the school who eat it for breakfast each day.
When I got home, I spent most of the afternoon returning phone calls. Mr. Soup and Joel showered me with cake and a homemade dinner! I requested no gifts, as Murad shelled out a lot for my push prize (I absolutely love my Galaxy tablet; it's the reason why my Facebook page has a million pics of Joel) and Christmas. After Joel went to bed, we watched a movie and hung out.
On Friday, I went to Happy Hour with my work friends. It was fun and low-key, which was what I needed after a stressful week. We went to Kelly's Eastside Bar in downtown Plano which was convenient for me!
On Saturday, we started our day with a serious talk. I know that seems weird, but it was really needed. Mr. Soup is worried that I'm not getting enough "me-time." I think he's worried because of the stress of my job, motherhood and supporting him after his test. When I went to happy hour on Friday, I called to I check on Joely and he goes, "GO HAVE FUN!" Easier said than done, right? He's right though. I've been guilty of putting Joely first all the time. Since Murad takes Joely to work and I pick him up, Murad is going to pick up Joel twice a week (that's all that his work schedule will allow). I'll have time to go do my "me-time" stuff. Whether it's working out, meeting for coffee or a drink with friends, or whatever, I'll have those two afternoons to myself. I'm really excited about this, but also nervous. Picking up Joel is the highlight of my day and I treasure the time we spend after work; however, I know Murad is really looking forward to getting me back to "me." I know a lot of it has to do with my work situation, but I am thankful to be employed. I also think that I don't always realize how much work it is to be a mom. I used to scoff when people said that being a mom was hard. I LOVE mothering Joel each day. I didn't ever think of it as work, because I enjoy it so, so much. When I step away and realize how much work it is though, I can see why I am a little overwhelmed. So much of who I am is devoted to Joel (as evident by the fact that 99% of my blog entries are devoted to him; I promise that will change!), but I am more than his mommy.
After our big talk, we geared up for my birthday celebration. It was a much needed night out. We left Joel with the sitter who would have been more than happy to keep him overnight, but Murad and I are just not ready to leave him overnight with non-family members. We're getting there though...Anyways, I really wanted to celebrate my birthday in downtown Plano. I know that seems weird to celebrate in a suburb, but Murad and I really love our town. The restaurants and shops in downtown Plano are unique and the nightlife is vibrant. It's becoming more "urban" and we love spending time there. We wanted to share that with our friends, so we headed over to Urban Crust for a pizza dinner. I absolutely love their Genova pizza - eggplant, basil pesto, tomato sauce, goat cheese and argula..YUM! It was great to share good food and drinks with friends. Afterwards, we went upstairs to the rooftop bar to hear the DJ spin. the rooftop bar (called 32 Degrees because they serve all drinks at that temperature) was so much fun. Immediately brought me back to being in college. We had fun drinking, doing silly dances, and people-watching! Such a fun night and I'm so thankful for the people who made it a blast!
We headed over to pick up our little prince who graciously let us sleep in until 8:00am today. I then took a five hour nap while Joel and Murad had some daddy-time. We have been lounging around because our 30 and 31 year old bodies can't handle 3am bed-times. Although I loved the night out, it won't be a regular occurence.
30 is here and I could not be happier. I may not have all the answers, but I'm surrounded by people who love and support me. I'm figuring it out one day at a time. Here's to 30!
When I got home, I spent most of the afternoon returning phone calls. Mr. Soup and Joel showered me with cake and a homemade dinner! I requested no gifts, as Murad shelled out a lot for my push prize (I absolutely love my Galaxy tablet; it's the reason why my Facebook page has a million pics of Joel) and Christmas. After Joel went to bed, we watched a movie and hung out.
On Friday, I went to Happy Hour with my work friends. It was fun and low-key, which was what I needed after a stressful week. We went to Kelly's Eastside Bar in downtown Plano which was convenient for me!
On Saturday, we started our day with a serious talk. I know that seems weird, but it was really needed. Mr. Soup is worried that I'm not getting enough "me-time." I think he's worried because of the stress of my job, motherhood and supporting him after his test. When I went to happy hour on Friday, I called to I check on Joely and he goes, "GO HAVE FUN!" Easier said than done, right? He's right though. I've been guilty of putting Joely first all the time. Since Murad takes Joely to work and I pick him up, Murad is going to pick up Joel twice a week (that's all that his work schedule will allow). I'll have time to go do my "me-time" stuff. Whether it's working out, meeting for coffee or a drink with friends, or whatever, I'll have those two afternoons to myself. I'm really excited about this, but also nervous. Picking up Joel is the highlight of my day and I treasure the time we spend after work; however, I know Murad is really looking forward to getting me back to "me." I know a lot of it has to do with my work situation, but I am thankful to be employed. I also think that I don't always realize how much work it is to be a mom. I used to scoff when people said that being a mom was hard. I LOVE mothering Joel each day. I didn't ever think of it as work, because I enjoy it so, so much. When I step away and realize how much work it is though, I can see why I am a little overwhelmed. So much of who I am is devoted to Joel (as evident by the fact that 99% of my blog entries are devoted to him; I promise that will change!), but I am more than his mommy.
After our big talk, we geared up for my birthday celebration. It was a much needed night out. We left Joel with the sitter who would have been more than happy to keep him overnight, but Murad and I are just not ready to leave him overnight with non-family members. We're getting there though...Anyways, I really wanted to celebrate my birthday in downtown Plano. I know that seems weird to celebrate in a suburb, but Murad and I really love our town. The restaurants and shops in downtown Plano are unique and the nightlife is vibrant. It's becoming more "urban" and we love spending time there. We wanted to share that with our friends, so we headed over to Urban Crust for a pizza dinner. I absolutely love their Genova pizza - eggplant, basil pesto, tomato sauce, goat cheese and argula..YUM! It was great to share good food and drinks with friends. Afterwards, we went upstairs to the rooftop bar to hear the DJ spin. the rooftop bar (called 32 Degrees because they serve all drinks at that temperature) was so much fun. Immediately brought me back to being in college. We had fun drinking, doing silly dances, and people-watching! Such a fun night and I'm so thankful for the people who made it a blast!
We headed over to pick up our little prince who graciously let us sleep in until 8:00am today. I then took a five hour nap while Joel and Murad had some daddy-time. We have been lounging around because our 30 and 31 year old bodies can't handle 3am bed-times. Although I loved the night out, it won't be a regular occurence.
30 is here and I could not be happier. I may not have all the answers, but I'm surrounded by people who love and support me. I'm figuring it out one day at a time. Here's to 30!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
How do you mend a broken heart?
I wish I could mend my hubby's broken heart. I hate to see him so, so down. I thought he was on the up and up, but Sunday was worse than Friday. We didn't go to the park. We didn't go to downtown Plano. At one time, I saw him closing the blinds on all the windows I had opened. He didn't even realize he was doing it. It was all subconscious. I wish there was a way to let him know he's not a failure.
He is reaching out and I'm thankful for that. I'm also thankful for the smile he gets on his face when Joely squeals with laughter. That boy seriously loves him some daddy. I'm thankful that hearing his daughter's voice cheered him up. Last night she called and he was thrilled. She was too. She genuinely sounded excited to talk to him. Afterwards, he said that Abby was such an inspiration. Her life is a lot harder than most kids. No matter what life throws at her, she is always cheerful, happy and usually smiling a big Campbell grin. I reminded him that she gets that from him.
I've never met a person so passionate about achieving his goals. When I met Murad he had barely graduated from a private college in New Jersey. He was going back to school to get a drug counselor certificate. Before moving here, he decided he wanted to go back to school the right way. He wanted to be a role model for his daughter since she didn't have very many. His first time in college, he was on an athletic scholarship. He also bounced around from college to college before finally graduating. This time, he was determined to do it right. He went back to school and got not only another bachelor's degree, but a master's degree. School wasn't easy for him either. Growing up he was in special ed due to reading problems and was always made to feel dumb when compared to his brother. He never let that get him down. Now, I see those insecurities creeping back in. The "I'm not good enough," is back.
I know that once he gets his license this will all be behind him,
but it is just so hard right now to realize that. He is not only a role model for Abby and Joel, but he's an inspiration to so many people. He's an inspiration to those who were called dumb or told they couldn't do something. I hope that he'll share his story with the world. I love him so much. I'm so lucky that he's my partner in life and the father of my son. He is my hero!
He is reaching out and I'm thankful for that. I'm also thankful for the smile he gets on his face when Joely squeals with laughter. That boy seriously loves him some daddy. I'm thankful that hearing his daughter's voice cheered him up. Last night she called and he was thrilled. She was too. She genuinely sounded excited to talk to him. Afterwards, he said that Abby was such an inspiration. Her life is a lot harder than most kids. No matter what life throws at her, she is always cheerful, happy and usually smiling a big Campbell grin. I reminded him that she gets that from him.
I've never met a person so passionate about achieving his goals. When I met Murad he had barely graduated from a private college in New Jersey. He was going back to school to get a drug counselor certificate. Before moving here, he decided he wanted to go back to school the right way. He wanted to be a role model for his daughter since she didn't have very many. His first time in college, he was on an athletic scholarship. He also bounced around from college to college before finally graduating. This time, he was determined to do it right. He went back to school and got not only another bachelor's degree, but a master's degree. School wasn't easy for him either. Growing up he was in special ed due to reading problems and was always made to feel dumb when compared to his brother. He never let that get him down. Now, I see those insecurities creeping back in. The "I'm not good enough," is back.
I know that once he gets his license this will all be behind him,
but it is just so hard right now to realize that. He is not only a role model for Abby and Joel, but he's an inspiration to so many people. He's an inspiration to those who were called dumb or told they couldn't do something. I hope that he'll share his story with the world. I love him so much. I'm so lucky that he's my partner in life and the father of my son. He is my hero!
Monday, December 26, 2011
Merry Christmas
If I had to write this post on December 22nd, the tone would be quite different than it is today, Christmas Day (technically the 26th). I had a specific vision in my head as to how Joely's first Christmas would be. We would travel to Nana and Papa's house in Kansas. Joely would attend Christmas Eve church service where everyone would ooh and aahhh over him. That evening we would open one gift and my parents (Nana and Papa) would fuss over getting a good shot of him tearing at the wrapping paper. Those dreams were dashed when we discovered that Joely had RSV....
On December 22nd, Joely woke up with a slight cough. We didn't think anything of it because he had been battling an ear infection (more about the possibility of tubes in another post). I sent Joely to daycare so that I could do some packing as we planned to get on the road early the next morning. Later that day Christy texted me saying that Joel was coughing and wheezing. I rushed over there to pick him up and quickly made an appointment to see Dr. Ramirez. Dr. Ramirez's nurse did an RSV test and it came back positive. Dr. Ramirez felt badly because we had been in her office on Monday for an ear infection, and she thought he may have picked it up then. Since Joely is so young, she went ahead and put him in the hospital. She thought that it would help him get over it quickly, but after we got there we realized that any hopes of leaving the hospital before Christmas Eve were quickly dashed.
Murad and I were so scared. As new parents, we didn't know what to expect. Was it life threatening? Is he in pain? Can we do anything to help? The answer to all questions is yes! The biggest thing we could do for Joely was be there for him. There really is no way to treat RSV, but he had the undergo breathing treatments, nose-suctioning and just being in a different environment. Anytime we got Joely to calm down and rest, we were interrupted by respiratory therapists or nurses. He was on an every three-hour treatment schedule. There were a few times when we got Joely down to sleep only to have him stir slightly, wake himself up and start screaming after realizing he wasn't in his nursery. There was even one time after a nose suctioning session when he sat up, looked angrily at the nurse and started pointing his hand. It was so sad, but too cute!
We woke up Christmas Eve day hoping to go home, but Joely still sounded wheezy. his oxygen saturation levels were 100%, but Dr. Ramirez worried that he'd go home and end up back in the hospital. We trust her completely, so we saddled up for another night on the twin hospital bed (yes...Murad and both slept on a twin bed). Through it all, we were thankful to have each other. We quickly learned to lean on each other for support, take turns comforting Joely, and picking our battles with the nursing/RT staff (don't get me started on them!). I don't think I realize how much of a partner I have in Murad. I think I sometimes feels as though as a mother I do most of the parenting, but being in the hospital really showed me that we do a good job of splitting our parenting duties. I think Joely looks to Murad for comfort just as much as he looks to me for comfort.
I also think I really understood the meaning of Christmas (or maybe Easter?). Joely is the most important person in our lives. His health supersedes any grandiose Christmas fantasy I envisioned. I now look back at our experience with RSV a little differently than I did when I learned our Christmas was ruined. Our Christmas wasn't ruined because I had all the family I needed and I got the best Christmas gift ever...taking my baby boy home! Woo-hoo!
In true Nana Babs fashion, my mom found someone to deliver Joely's Christmas gifts to him. My parents' neighbor has a son who lives in Plano. On his way back from visiting his mother, he and his wife are going to drop Joel's presents by. Fortunately, we had bought him some gifts, Christy and Abuela had bought him a gift and the staff at Presbyterian Plano hospital got him a few gifts. So, yes Joely is definitely spoiled....rotten!
While we got to leave the hospital, it was hard seeing the families that had to stay. Murad saw the hospital Santa walking around to different little kids and felt really sad for them. I, too, felt the same way. Here I was worried about a ruined first Christmas, when I should be thankful for my baby boy. Joely brings so much joy to our lives. I didn't think I could love someone as much as I love Joely. He truly is amazing. What would I do without him? I don't want to know. Right now, I want to thank God that I have him as my son!
I leave you with a few Christmas quotes:
He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. ~Roy L. Smith
There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries. ~W.J. Cameron
I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. ~Charles Dickens
I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. ~Harlan Miller
On December 22nd, Joely woke up with a slight cough. We didn't think anything of it because he had been battling an ear infection (more about the possibility of tubes in another post). I sent Joely to daycare so that I could do some packing as we planned to get on the road early the next morning. Later that day Christy texted me saying that Joel was coughing and wheezing. I rushed over there to pick him up and quickly made an appointment to see Dr. Ramirez. Dr. Ramirez's nurse did an RSV test and it came back positive. Dr. Ramirez felt badly because we had been in her office on Monday for an ear infection, and she thought he may have picked it up then. Since Joely is so young, she went ahead and put him in the hospital. She thought that it would help him get over it quickly, but after we got there we realized that any hopes of leaving the hospital before Christmas Eve were quickly dashed.
Murad and I were so scared. As new parents, we didn't know what to expect. Was it life threatening? Is he in pain? Can we do anything to help? The answer to all questions is yes! The biggest thing we could do for Joely was be there for him. There really is no way to treat RSV, but he had the undergo breathing treatments, nose-suctioning and just being in a different environment. Anytime we got Joely to calm down and rest, we were interrupted by respiratory therapists or nurses. He was on an every three-hour treatment schedule. There were a few times when we got Joely down to sleep only to have him stir slightly, wake himself up and start screaming after realizing he wasn't in his nursery. There was even one time after a nose suctioning session when he sat up, looked angrily at the nurse and started pointing his hand. It was so sad, but too cute!
We woke up Christmas Eve day hoping to go home, but Joely still sounded wheezy. his oxygen saturation levels were 100%, but Dr. Ramirez worried that he'd go home and end up back in the hospital. We trust her completely, so we saddled up for another night on the twin hospital bed (yes...Murad and both slept on a twin bed). Through it all, we were thankful to have each other. We quickly learned to lean on each other for support, take turns comforting Joely, and picking our battles with the nursing/RT staff (don't get me started on them!). I don't think I realize how much of a partner I have in Murad. I think I sometimes feels as though as a mother I do most of the parenting, but being in the hospital really showed me that we do a good job of splitting our parenting duties. I think Joely looks to Murad for comfort just as much as he looks to me for comfort.
I also think I really understood the meaning of Christmas (or maybe Easter?). Joely is the most important person in our lives. His health supersedes any grandiose Christmas fantasy I envisioned. I now look back at our experience with RSV a little differently than I did when I learned our Christmas was ruined. Our Christmas wasn't ruined because I had all the family I needed and I got the best Christmas gift ever...taking my baby boy home! Woo-hoo!
In true Nana Babs fashion, my mom found someone to deliver Joely's Christmas gifts to him. My parents' neighbor has a son who lives in Plano. On his way back from visiting his mother, he and his wife are going to drop Joel's presents by. Fortunately, we had bought him some gifts, Christy and Abuela had bought him a gift and the staff at Presbyterian Plano hospital got him a few gifts. So, yes Joely is definitely spoiled....rotten!
While we got to leave the hospital, it was hard seeing the families that had to stay. Murad saw the hospital Santa walking around to different little kids and felt really sad for them. I, too, felt the same way. Here I was worried about a ruined first Christmas, when I should be thankful for my baby boy. Joely brings so much joy to our lives. I didn't think I could love someone as much as I love Joely. He truly is amazing. What would I do without him? I don't want to know. Right now, I want to thank God that I have him as my son!
I leave you with a few Christmas quotes:
He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. ~Roy L. Smith
There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries. ~W.J. Cameron
I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. ~Charles Dickens
I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. ~Harlan Miller
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
2 months
On Friday JT will be 2 months! He has his two month doctor's appointment where he'll get his shots. Last week when I stepped on the scale with him, he weighed 10 lbs. This week he feels heavier and even has little fat rolls! So cute. I wonder how big he'll be Friday? JT has so much personality now. He's more like a little boy than an actual baby. He smiles now and it absolutely melts my heart. I spend most of my day oohing and awwing over him rather than updating my blog (sorry!) Here are some things we've noticed about him:
-loves to have his feet rubbed
-he likes Notorious BIG, Fiona Apple, Marcia Ambrosia and any slow R&B music or music with acoustic guitars
-he's reaching for the toys on his tummy time mat. He can entertain himself reaching for those things for minutes
-he likes to give kisses! It's the cutest thing. He even gave Maya a kiss and she reciprocated with a big lick on his face!
-his hair is more of a dark, chocolatey brown color like mine rather than black like Murad's. His hair hasn't turned curly yet, so we think the soft waves are here to stay
-when he smiles he makes his eyes go to one side and he also likes to ball his fists up near his face. both are things we noticed in Murad's baby pics
-his eyes are a medium shade of brown like Murad and Abby's instead of dark brown like mine.
-he can roll over on his own
-he still sleeps with us in the bed, but we're slowly transitioning him to the pack n' play and then to his crib in his nursery. My anti-cosleeping hubby is now on board with it, so he's stayed with us a little longer than expected. It's kind of good because since he's learned to roll over he rolls to his stomach during sleep. It really freaks Mommy and Daddy out, so we're keeping him in our bed so we can flip him to his back. He has an AngelCare monitor in his crib, but not in his pack n' play, so we haven't figured out how to monitor him in the pack n' play.
Some more updates:
Grandpop Joel and Gigi came to visit at the end of June! What a great time JT had with them. He received a new swing and mommy and daddy received a digital photo frame and coffee maker! It was so cool to see grandson Joel (JT) and Grandpop Joel interact
New friends - JT has quite a few friends his age. This past weekend he met Isaiah Jr. (3/31/2011) who came from MD to visit his grandparents in Richardson. His friend Walt was born in KC on July 16th! Walt and JT were only supposed to be 5 weeks apart, but with JT arriving early and Walt a week late, they are almost 2 months apart! He has a friend arriving 8/11 in Lawrence, 10/11 in Sweden and 12/11 or 1/12 in Denver. Lots and lots of friends for him to meet!
Baptism - We are excited that JT will be baptized next month in my hometown. This is the same church at which my brother, my mom and I were baptized. That weekend JT will also meet his big sister Abby for the first time, as well as his Uncle Ryan and some great-grandparents.
JT had his first cold - not fun, but it only lasted 2 days.
Updates for the Soup family:
I've been cleared to work-out! I started last week. I only went 3 days, but it felt really good to do intense cardio and lift weights. I kind of overdid it on the abs (because let's face it, that's the area that needs the most work!), but I'm going to start back up slowly. I lost 15 lbs immediately after having Joel and then kind of plateaued. Last week I lost 3 lbs. I figure if I average 3 lbs a week, I'll be back in shape in no time!
I go back to work in exactly a month. I'm so dreading it. While I know that JT will be fine in day care (in fact, Mr. Soup and I both agree that he will be better cared for at day care than with us ....lol...no but for real), it's still hard for me to imagine leaving him all day long. I know my day will be amazing when I jet over to daycare to pick up his smiling face! I'm trying to soak up my JT time now. I think I'm averaging 5-10 photos and videos daily. I don't have the patience to upload them all on here, but I've posted quite a few on Facebook. He's just so amazing. I love capturing his little world.
Mr. Soup and I have decided to start a non-profit! I'm going to be blogging about the process as we'll be going through the filing with the state and the IRS. Right now we're in the infancy stages: gathering our board of trustees, filling out paper work, etc. After that we'll wait and wait and then we can finally start applying for funding. Our goal is to be up and running next fall (2012). It kind of started out as an idea that we thought sounded good, but when we started talking about it to people we realized there really is a need for this kind of organization in the community. So many people have volunteered to help us with everything including working with the IRS and other legal matters. We're hoping that once this all gets running in a couple of years, that we'll be able to spend more time with JT. We also love the organization, because it combines our passion for education and social services. Like I said, I'll try to blog about our ups and downs with starting a non-profit. Right now, I'm working on the mission statement and some materials while I'm on maternity leave (in the little time when JT is sleeping or when I'm nursing him)
Mr. Soup took his social work licensure exam. He missed passing by six lousy points. He saw one of his classmates there and she only passed by 2 points. Most of his friends failed by 20 points, so he's glad he's not in that boat. He'll take it again in October. He was able to identify the area in which he needs to improve: speed. The test is only four hours long and he realized he took too long on each question and wasn't able to go back and correct his answers. So, he's going to do drills once a week until the date of the next test. I'm still very proud of him. The LMSW test is one of the hardest tests out there.
I think that's it for the Soups! Til next time!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Update Extravaganza!
I'll elaborate more on these later, but here are some!
37 weeks today. At my appointment on Tuesday, I was still 3 cm dilated and he went from 50% effaced to 75% effaced. I tested positive for Group B Strep and negative for HIV (duh!).
Tuesday I drove all over Plano, literally. I got JT's car seat installed in the SUV. Once we receive our 2nd base, we'll get that one installed in the Jetta too. I drove around all day Tuesday with that child seat in the Kia and just imagine JT sitting back there. I cannot wait to be a MOM. I cannot wait to look back and see my little one sleeping or screaming his lungs off!
Yesterday Mr. Soup surprised me by getting hiring professionals to clean our carpet. I feel so much better knowing that JT will come home a virtually fur-free home. Yesterday, the dog groomer came by for a consultation and they're getting shaved on Sunday afternoon. No more long coats for them! We're also going to start transitioning them from sleeping in our room. Tonight they'll sleep in the hall for the first time!
Today my dad had gall bladder surgery. Not a major surgery, but anyone who knows my dad knows that he has been through a ton of surgerys in the past 10 years. Any and every surgery is still a little scary. He's recovering and should go home tomorrow. Continue to keep him in your thoughts and prayers
Today is the five year anniversary of when Mr. Soup and I met at the DFW airport. Hard to believe it's been five years! So many good things have happened since then. It truly was a life-changing event for me!
One year ago today Mr. Soup and I closed on our first home. Homeownership hasn't been without it's challenges, but we absolutely love our home! It's not perfect, but it's the perfect home for us!
Tonight I'm going to a meeting to find out more information about a Ph.D program in Language & Literacy. I know, I know, what am I thinking? I'm going with an open mind. Just gathering information. It's something that I've always been interested in accomplishing and if they make it suitable for working teachers, I might be able to do it. Plus, if I have my way and only work part-time in a year or so, I could do it, right? we'll see. just gathering information at this point!
Mr. Soup has an interview for a new job. It's one he applied to before landing his current job, but they're just now getting back to him. We're crossing our fingers that he gets it as the pay increase would cover daycare and our travel fund! Of course, once he gets licensed, we'll be set as well, but nice to have more options especially once JT arrives.
Oh and JT's baptism date is tentatively set. We plan to have him baptized in August at the church where my mom, my brother and I were baptized! I'm so happy!
That's it for now!
37 weeks today. At my appointment on Tuesday, I was still 3 cm dilated and he went from 50% effaced to 75% effaced. I tested positive for Group B Strep and negative for HIV (duh!).
Tuesday I drove all over Plano, literally. I got JT's car seat installed in the SUV. Once we receive our 2nd base, we'll get that one installed in the Jetta too. I drove around all day Tuesday with that child seat in the Kia and just imagine JT sitting back there. I cannot wait to be a MOM. I cannot wait to look back and see my little one sleeping or screaming his lungs off!
Yesterday Mr. Soup surprised me by getting hiring professionals to clean our carpet. I feel so much better knowing that JT will come home a virtually fur-free home. Yesterday, the dog groomer came by for a consultation and they're getting shaved on Sunday afternoon. No more long coats for them! We're also going to start transitioning them from sleeping in our room. Tonight they'll sleep in the hall for the first time!
Today my dad had gall bladder surgery. Not a major surgery, but anyone who knows my dad knows that he has been through a ton of surgerys in the past 10 years. Any and every surgery is still a little scary. He's recovering and should go home tomorrow. Continue to keep him in your thoughts and prayers
Today is the five year anniversary of when Mr. Soup and I met at the DFW airport. Hard to believe it's been five years! So many good things have happened since then. It truly was a life-changing event for me!
One year ago today Mr. Soup and I closed on our first home. Homeownership hasn't been without it's challenges, but we absolutely love our home! It's not perfect, but it's the perfect home for us!
Tonight I'm going to a meeting to find out more information about a Ph.D program in Language & Literacy. I know, I know, what am I thinking? I'm going with an open mind. Just gathering information. It's something that I've always been interested in accomplishing and if they make it suitable for working teachers, I might be able to do it. Plus, if I have my way and only work part-time in a year or so, I could do it, right? we'll see. just gathering information at this point!
Mr. Soup has an interview for a new job. It's one he applied to before landing his current job, but they're just now getting back to him. We're crossing our fingers that he gets it as the pay increase would cover daycare and our travel fund! Of course, once he gets licensed, we'll be set as well, but nice to have more options especially once JT arrives.
Oh and JT's baptism date is tentatively set. We plan to have him baptized in August at the church where my mom, my brother and I were baptized! I'm so happy!
That's it for now!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Who will JT look like?
So, from his 5 month sono we've determined he has...
daddy's legs and feet
daddy's head
mommy's nose
daddy's lips
mommy's fingers
mommy's ears
Mr. Soup and I resemble each other quite a bit, so I imagine that it will be hard to distinguish all the features; however, I think he'll look more like Mr. Soup than me and I'm fine with that. Abby looks more like Mr. Soup than her mom. I have my heart set on a little baby that somewhat resembles my family though. the one thing I do not want to pass down to JT was my jaw, but we won't be able to tell if he inherited that until he's older. It's a dominant trait in my family. I get most of my traits from my mom's family (eye shape, nose, think lips, and jaw) and our jaw is one of them. My grandfather, great-aunts, mother, brother and I all have some form of the Parks underbite. Luckily, Ryan (my brother) and I had ours corrected. I'm hoping JT won't have to endure the dental, orthodontic and surgical work that we had done. And Mr. Soup? Well, his family has soft teeth. We're both hoping JT doesn't inherit that. Despite all our concerns, and no matter what he inherits, he'll be a beautiful baby! So, I leave you with a picture of Mr. Soup at 6 months. It will be interesting to see what JT looks like at six months. maybe I'll set up a similar picture!
oh and on another note: Mr. Soup got the job he wanted! Woo-hoo! We'll be able to eat once JT arrives!
Friday, January 28, 2011
It's a BOY
That's right! Baby Soup is a boy! We have had a busy, busy week. We started off Monday afternoon visiting our OB/GYN for the ultrasound. The first thing the technician noticed was his boy part sticking straight up. Yep! He's all boy! Mr. Soup and I both enjoyed this ultrasound more than the last one. I think it's because he actually looks like a baby (although a tiny one). It was so cool to see him moving around in there. We saw him scratch his eye, fist pump, take a quick nap and kick mommy's bladder. Right now JT (Baby Soup) is breeched, so it explains why I have to go pee more than usual. The sonographer said, "you might pee more than usual because his feet are right on your bladder." Right after she said that, we saw him stamp his feet on my bladder. I actually don't mind because I love feeling my baby alive inside of me. There have been entire days that I have gone through and totally forgotten that I'm pregnant (is that bad?). Sometimes it still doesn't seem real to me. So, I'll take the restless nights, frequent bathroom breaks and other minor inconveniences.
So, JT is definitely his father's son. From looking at his profile, I see all Mr. Soup. His feet are arched like his father and his little legs are muscular as hell just like Mr. Soup's. I didn't know babies could develop muscles like that, but I guess when all you do is kick your mom's bladder, you're bound to build some muscles! He's just such a little cutie! I can't believe our perfect (yes, I said "perfect") baby is going to be here in June! I used to want to keep him inside forever so that I could protect him from all the bad things in the world. However, I've gotten over that. I want him out. I want to cuddle!
I'm still on a high from Monday afternoon. On Wednesday, I celebrated my 29th birthday! Can you believe it? 29 years. It was pretty low-key! Mr. Soup bought me a cake and card and told me my gift was coming this weekend! I also went to dinner with friends that night since Mr. Soup had to work.
I've been extremely busy at work with getting things ready for TAKS with camps, tutoring, etc. Yesterday, I taught, tutored until 4:45, stayed at school to work, then attended a girls' basketball game. I didn't get home until almost 9pm. Next week looks busy too.
Mr. Soup is busy interviewing for new jobs. Since he graduated in December, he's anxiously looking for new work. His previous job was only part-time, so he took a full-time position within the company, but unfortunately he has to work nights....he's also overly, overly qualified for the job and it's not a job that will pay all the new bills once JT arrives. So, I know he's worried and I feel bad that I can't do anything to make him feel better. I know it's a man-thing to want to be able to take care of your family, but I know that something will come along. Good things always have a way of finding us, and I know things will change. I just want him to know I believe in him and I support him! So, keep us in your thoughts and prayers!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Why my husband is an awesome dad (to-be) and husband
Sometimes I marvel at how much technology has enhanced our lives. Other times I cringe at how much a part of our lives technology is. It invades our lives. Sometimes I'm amazed at how much I know about other people's lives thanks to facebook and other social networks. Sometimes (like now) it really reminds me how lucky I am to have married my ultimate life partner. I don't pretend that my husband is perfect. He's not romantic...at all! He smells sometimes. He's very impatient. He can lose his temper easily. However, with that comes passion and excitement. I married a man who loves with all his heart! So after a week of reading disappointing relationship statuses and just disappointing statuses in general, here is an ode to my husband! Okay so really it's the top reasons why he rocks as a dad and husband.
1. he's super excited about Baby Soup! Everything related to babies is like a new puzzle for him to solve. He's constantly reading books, websites (he frequents the Bump) and articles. That article I put on the refrigerator about raising a child in Muslim/Christian household sat up there for months. Now that we're pregnant he's read it and was prepared to do an hour long book study last night. Not kidding! He's there for every doctor's appointment (he missed the last one, but that's okay)
2. he works extremely hard. After graduating with his master's he's been on the search for a better paying job. In the mean time, he's working horrible shifts and a job he doesn't like to help save for the baby. He could take his time and work his regular schedule, but he's not.
3. he appreciates travel, good food and good times as much as I do. Even on the days where money is tight, we find ways to have a good time. he loves to travel whether it's by plane, boat or car. Together we always make each other laugh and we comfort each other when things go wrong. We both want travel to be an important part of Baby Soup's life. We both want to eat good food and continue to have good times with friends and family. We both want to continue living life, so that our children see how great life can be!
4. he's accepting. I know that no matter what happens to Baby Soup, he will be there to love and support him or her. As an expecting mother, I worried about all the things that go wrong developmentally (thankfully, there are none!). Mr. Soup did too, but his confidence that we could get through it and strive to be the best parents possible really helped calm me. It helped me remember that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Thinking to the future: We discussed how we would react if one of our children was homosexual (not that I think anything is "wrong" with homosexuals). He was so calm and accepting. He said, "it may be hard to accept at first, but I'd get over it. Plus, it'd be fun to go hang out in the Gayborhood with them." One of his favorite restaurants is in the Gayborhood, so we head over there some. Lots of nice eateries and lots of fun bars. Isn't he great? Very few men are that open and honest about homosexuality and that comfortable with their own sexuality.
5. he's already a great dad. have you seen him with Maya and Sam? He's on the floor every day with them, playing, rolling, and biting (yes...biting)them. He truly treats them like man's best friends.
even though he could've abandoned my stepdaughter when things got tough, he didn't. there have been multiple times (including when he first found out about her), that he could've thrown in the towel and it would've been so much easier. however, he didn't. someday I hope things work out so that she can fully experience her awesome father.
so yeah, my husband rocks pretty much! Can't top him!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
2010 financial successes/new year's resolutions
being financially fit is a goal that we have for our family. In the past we haven't made the best decisions with saving and spending, but we strive now more than ever since we are bringing a little one into the world. I hope we can teach him or her to spend and save wisely. However, if this baby is a girl, I can't promise that he or she won't have a shopping addiction like her mother....
we did have some success in 2010
highs:
-we stopped using credit cards and what we did use, we paid off immediately as to not incur interest
-we paid off one credit card
-we bought a house
-we put more in savings
-we now have a monthly emergency fund
-saved $70 a month by not relaxing (perming) my hair
-switched energy providers and saved $100+ per month (we pay less than we did when we lived in our apartment)
-paid off my car
lows:
-if we want to buy a new car, we need to pay down the rest of our debt...Although, we stopped incurring debt, we didn't really pay down much. it looks like we may not buy a new car until 2012 or 2013...and it's looking like it may be a mini-van (sigh....another post on that)
-we didn't tithe regularly or I should I say I didn't since I go to church. I will say this has more to do with my sporadic attendance at church....something I need to work on in the new year.
- we now have a balance on our GAP card....it's $100, but still a balance.
New Year's Resolutions (financial and not)
-pay down debt
-continue to put more in savings
-share more of the household duties...while Mr. Soup was in grad school, the majority of our duties fell on me. We need to get our balance back before the baby arrives.
-paint the kitchen, living room and nursery. I foresee the nursery being painted first and the other two in late 2011.
-keep our travel fund full. with Baby Soup arriving, it will be hard to travel regularly. However, my goal is for us to take some family trips, Mr. Soup and me trips, and maybe a girls' trip. Traveling is something that is important to Mr. Soup and me. We are definitely not going to stop traveling in 2011. In fact, we will take our annual trip to NJ and I'm hoping we'll have enough for another cruise (once I get my body back...don't laugh!)
-accept that I cannot control how things turn out with my stepdaughter. This is hard, but I know I have to do it for my sanity. I never truly understood what my husband went through with his daughter until this summer. He has had his daughter ripped from him over and over by her mentally ill mother and passive, enabling grandparents. I felt that pain this summer. My heart was broken over and over. I'm not sure if I ever got over it fully. This will be the first Christmas that we haven't had my stepdaughter. I shudder to think of what kind of Christmas she will have (her mother doesn't even wrap their presents). I have to get over the pain I felt when my she left for a life of poverty, instability and neglect from a home where she was loved, clean and attended to each day. For now, I have to be content with the sporadic phone calls and visits we have. I have to be content with being the weekend dad and step-mom.
While Baby Soup will never take the place of Abby, he or she will have everything that Abby didn't. This baby will always know what an amazing big sister he or she has (SN: Abby is totally excited about Baby Soup. She asked if I could have a boy, so she could have a brother) Most importantly, I will have a baby that no one can take away from Mr. Soup and me. If I could hold this baby close to me everyday and never let him or her go, I would. However, I know I cannot transfer my feelings of loss and heartbreak onto this innocent life. While I want to suffocate this baby with love and attention all the time, I know my duty as a mom is to provide opportunity for growth. So, I guess in my long-winded way of saying it, my goal is two-fold: Accept my limited role as stepmother and embrace balance as I strive to be the best mother to Baby Soup.
-my next goal is to achieve balance as a wife, mother, teacher, friend, sister, daughter, etc. I realize my marriage is my #1 priority. If I don't put my marriage first, I won't be a good mother. Fortunately, we have been blessed with friends who have offered to babysit. However, I also want to make time to be a good teacher, and spend time with friends and family regularly.
-last goal is to be an awesome mama! I know I will lose major coolness once Baby C hits puberty, but for now I can't wait to raise the most awesome kid ever! This baby oozes coolness and here's why....no morning sickness, very little weight gain, cute ass sonogram pic, awesome summer-time timing, etc. This baby has made pregnancy enjoyable so far and although I know it will get worse, I am thankful that my 1st trimester was a breeze compared to most. Although, I do hate the acne!
That's it! Hopefully writing down my new year's goals on the internet for the world to see will keep me accountable!
we did have some success in 2010
highs:
-we stopped using credit cards and what we did use, we paid off immediately as to not incur interest
-we paid off one credit card
-we bought a house
-we put more in savings
-we now have a monthly emergency fund
-saved $70 a month by not relaxing (perming) my hair
-switched energy providers and saved $100+ per month (we pay less than we did when we lived in our apartment)
-paid off my car
lows:
-if we want to buy a new car, we need to pay down the rest of our debt...Although, we stopped incurring debt, we didn't really pay down much. it looks like we may not buy a new car until 2012 or 2013...and it's looking like it may be a mini-van (sigh....another post on that)
-we didn't tithe regularly or I should I say I didn't since I go to church. I will say this has more to do with my sporadic attendance at church....something I need to work on in the new year.
- we now have a balance on our GAP card....it's $100, but still a balance.
New Year's Resolutions (financial and not)
-pay down debt
-continue to put more in savings
-share more of the household duties...while Mr. Soup was in grad school, the majority of our duties fell on me. We need to get our balance back before the baby arrives.
-paint the kitchen, living room and nursery. I foresee the nursery being painted first and the other two in late 2011.
-keep our travel fund full. with Baby Soup arriving, it will be hard to travel regularly. However, my goal is for us to take some family trips, Mr. Soup and me trips, and maybe a girls' trip. Traveling is something that is important to Mr. Soup and me. We are definitely not going to stop traveling in 2011. In fact, we will take our annual trip to NJ and I'm hoping we'll have enough for another cruise (once I get my body back...don't laugh!)
-accept that I cannot control how things turn out with my stepdaughter. This is hard, but I know I have to do it for my sanity. I never truly understood what my husband went through with his daughter until this summer. He has had his daughter ripped from him over and over by her mentally ill mother and passive, enabling grandparents. I felt that pain this summer. My heart was broken over and over. I'm not sure if I ever got over it fully. This will be the first Christmas that we haven't had my stepdaughter. I shudder to think of what kind of Christmas she will have (her mother doesn't even wrap their presents). I have to get over the pain I felt when my she left for a life of poverty, instability and neglect from a home where she was loved, clean and attended to each day. For now, I have to be content with the sporadic phone calls and visits we have. I have to be content with being the weekend dad and step-mom.
While Baby Soup will never take the place of Abby, he or she will have everything that Abby didn't. This baby will always know what an amazing big sister he or she has (SN: Abby is totally excited about Baby Soup. She asked if I could have a boy, so she could have a brother) Most importantly, I will have a baby that no one can take away from Mr. Soup and me. If I could hold this baby close to me everyday and never let him or her go, I would. However, I know I cannot transfer my feelings of loss and heartbreak onto this innocent life. While I want to suffocate this baby with love and attention all the time, I know my duty as a mom is to provide opportunity for growth. So, I guess in my long-winded way of saying it, my goal is two-fold: Accept my limited role as stepmother and embrace balance as I strive to be the best mother to Baby Soup.
-my next goal is to achieve balance as a wife, mother, teacher, friend, sister, daughter, etc. I realize my marriage is my #1 priority. If I don't put my marriage first, I won't be a good mother. Fortunately, we have been blessed with friends who have offered to babysit. However, I also want to make time to be a good teacher, and spend time with friends and family regularly.
-last goal is to be an awesome mama! I know I will lose major coolness once Baby C hits puberty, but for now I can't wait to raise the most awesome kid ever! This baby oozes coolness and here's why....no morning sickness, very little weight gain, cute ass sonogram pic, awesome summer-time timing, etc. This baby has made pregnancy enjoyable so far and although I know it will get worse, I am thankful that my 1st trimester was a breeze compared to most. Although, I do hate the acne!
That's it! Hopefully writing down my new year's goals on the internet for the world to see will keep me accountable!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Birthdays galore
August is birthday month in the Soup house! It is also the month that I return to work full-time. This year, I not only added a new part-time job, but I also planned a big party for Mr. Soup's 30th b-day and Sam and Maya's 3rd birthday, hosted guests from Philadelphia and said good-bye to my brother-in-law for 6 months. Crazy, right? It was amazing and so much fun! I rented a bounce house for Mr. Soup's party! Let me tell you that alcohol + a bounce house = so much fun! Even Sam and Maya got in it for a while. I baked a doggy birthday cake for my babies! Their guest really enjoyed the cake as well! I was pretty proud of myself! It was so good getting a bunch of our good friends and some new ones as well in one place to celebrate! Mr. Soup said it was the best birthday party he's ever had! I'm so proud and I really enjoyed myself too! It was also a good chance for everyone to see our new home! I've posted some pics of the party below!
Friday, August 13, 2010
ode to my husband
i wonder if
people without chanced meetings
experience this charmed bliss
i wonder if
people who have known each other their whole lives
recognize just how special love is
how rare it is
an elation everyday
how did we get so lucky to almost miss
the opportunity to redirect our lives towards one another?
how did we get so lucky to click and traverse towards
an unfamiliar destiny
the dream no longer deferred,
but for real
and forever...
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