Joely is 10 months

Joely started crawling on his 10 month birthday. Crazy, right? I honestly never expected him to crawl. I didn't crawl and he wasn't showing any signs of trying to crawl. Sure, he would get up on all fours, but he wouldn't move. He'd just stay still. However, when we'd stand him at his discovery table, he'd stay and move around.
As I write this, Joely crawled over to Maya to pet her. Maya is pawing him back and just letting him explore her. He's so fascinated by her and she truly loves him. She follows him around to make sure he doesn't stray too far. She licks up his face (a treat for her!). Maya had maternal instincts even before Joely arrived. When I was pregnant she carried around a toy puppy. She wouldn't let any of us touch it, and if we did, she immediately cleaned it off. It was like she was trying to get rid of our germs. She's so sweet.
I am a little proud that he's crawling because his ex-daycare providers voiced their concerns that he wasn't crawling and also told me that crawling was too important of a developmental step to miss. I seriously still cannot believe how uneducated these folks were. I know they had taken child development courses required by the state, but I guess their own theories were more important. Nevertheless, we knew our son (something they tried to downplay since he was there 40 hours a week) and we knew he was normal. Thankfully, they're no longer caring for babies.
One of the things I admire about Joely is that he does everything in his own time. I think all babies are like this and it is one of the things that makes them so special. I should have known that he would be like this when he made his debut three weeks before his due date. I think Joely just wants to be independent. I was bummed when he wouldn't share a June birthday with his Grandpa Joel and Uncle Joel, but I see now that he was just saying, "hey, I'm my own Joel." This was one of the reasons why we gave him a middle name different from either of theirs. Little did we know that he would take the literal meaning of his middle name (morning star) and apply it to his 4:34am birth!
I sometimes feel guilty for being given this little gift of Joel and honored to be in charge of his life. As I watch reports of the Trayvon Martin case, my guilt grows. How can we live in a place where this happens? What do I, as a parent, have to do to save my son from something similar. There are so many ugly truths about life, racism, etc. that I have to share with him. I remember being pregnant with him when the whole Penn State Jerry Sandusky scandal hit the news, and I instantly felt that guilt. There are just so many ills . I wonder how I can make him aware without making him scared. How do I tell him that some people will only judge him by the color of his skin? So many things....
I guess this is why I am still hurt by Joel's dismissal from daycare. I have no idea if something bad was done to him. I feel like I trusted them to provide proper care and they did not. I'm thankful that he's young and will not suffer any major scars. In fact, I think he's advancing despite of it. Joel is a happy, unique, curious, and might I add handsome little guy (so handsome that we're going to open casting for baby modeling in May...wish us luck!) I love this little blessing in my life and I'm so thankful for him. Happy 10 months, Joel Tariq! I love you so! Here are some pics for your viewing pleasure. Joely now knows how to pose for the camera. The other day I tried to film him crawling and he just sat there smiling waiting for the flash. See why he is a natural model? He already knows the drill!

What to call a half-sibling?

As you all know, I'm rather intrigued by half-sibling relationships. Even before Joel and Abby arrived in my life, I thought it would) be cool to have a half-sibling (I never wanted a step-sibling, ironically...maybe because you can still call a half-sibling "brother" or "sister" and you really can't with step-siblings.) Since I didn't get to have one, I'm excited that Joel does! We've decided that we'll tell him that Abby is his half-sibling for learning purposes, but he'll refer to her as his sister. I came across this blog post while doing research for an article. I thought I'd share.

Joel-Watching

Joel is on the move this week...learning new things and laughing at us all the way. Some things I observed while Joel-watching.

*Joel always knows when Murad is in the room or near him. Even if he can't see him, he senses Murad's presence.

*Joel likes to play jokes. Sometimes, he'll throw things and pretend to be mad and then smile at us.

*Nana Babs (my mom) started tapping Joely's mouth when he sings/yells. He's discovered how to do this to himself (except instead of a flat hand, he has a balled-up fist). He also makes us do the same.

*Joel can stand on his own

*Joel has figured out how to stand/squat in his bathtub.

*Joel loves turning the pages on the books we read. Sometimes, he won't let me finish reading the page which means I have to make up most of what we read.

*Joel loves to watch basketball, but hates to watch time-outs. He also loves this show called Yo Gabba Gabba. Murad found it on Nick Jr On Demand and Joel was seriously mesmerized by it. It's probably one of the weirdest shows I've seen, but I like seeing the celebrity guests.

That's our Joely! My mom bought him a cute green KU Jayhawk St. Patrick's Day shirt. I can't wait to put it on him! I'm excited for March Madness to begin! This is precisely why spring is my favorite season. So glad I get to share it with him!

In addition to Joel-watching, I've been doing some more writing this week, experimenting with my hair (pics to come) and Murad and I booked our trip to Philadelphia for over Memorial weekend. Murad is going to be a groomsman in a wedding, so we're heading out there for that. I'm really excited because my in-laws (they live 10 minutes from Philly) will watch Joel most of the weekend, so that Murad and I can enjoy the city, a trolley ride and the other wedding events. Murad and I have 4 weddings to attend/be in this spring and summer. I'm sure attending them will inspire me to pick up my Wedding Wednesday entries. I may move them over to my writing blog though...we'll see!

Spring is here!

I've included a little picture of my main man Joel! Isn't he the cutest? I'm so glad I get to share my favorite time of year with him. Joel will be a spectator for mommy's crazy basketball loving behavior once March Madness starts! Of course, last week Joel passed out during the KU-Mizzou game!

As you can see in the picture, Joely has two more teeth! Today, I discovered two more are starting to come in as well. He now has six teeth, y'all! SIX! He's eating more and more. As a result, he's relying less on formula. In addition to that, he's not spitting up as much either! We knew this would happen and his pediatrician did too. It's a shame his former daycare providers didn't understand that he'd grow out of it. Yes, that was one of the many things that was wrong with him!

Spring is also the time of year when teachers start making decisions about the fall. Mr. Soup really wants me to pick up more classes at the community college (I can teach 3 and be part-time) and then possibly teach online and write more. His idea makes the most sense, but I still worry about money and insurance. He'd have to add Joely and me to his insurance. Not sure how much that would be. Just for me to add him to mine, it was like $700 a month! We'd save money on childcare and I could be home with Joely more. Since the daycare fiasco, I've wanted to keep Joely close to me. He loves his new placement,and they love him too, but I'm still a little jaded.
I don't know how I feel about working part-time because being a stay at home mom (SAHM) was not part of the plan for me. I always envisioned myself "working." I feel embarrassed to say that I, with tons of help from my amazing hubby, struggle to balance my home and work life. I don't know how my mom, who worked over 40 hours a week as a nurse, found time to keep a clean house, be involved in our schools, sew our clothes, etc. I think our generation of women are not like our mothers' generation. We're cut from a cheaper cloth. Nevertheless, this is my life right now. I'm hoping to continue working full-time, but I have to do what's best for my family.
Murad started studying for his test again hardcore. He joined a study group with one of his co-workers. They have a guy who is assigning readings and quizzes for them. At the end of this month he will take a two-day study seminar. He saw a psychiatrist this week who diagnosed him with ADD. This is something we suspected for a long time, but never thought to have it evaluated. Now that he knows he has it, he feels more empowered. Last night he said to me, "I'm not dumb, Ash." I hate that he ever felt that way. Now we take the knowledge and move forward. I'm happy for him and ready to be there every step of the way as he prepares to take the exam. It's amazing how after three years we lean on each other in times of need. I've had to miss tucking Joely in few nights this week. I know in the long run it doesn't matter who tucks Joely in, as long as it's a parent, but Murad knows it is important to me. He's tried his best to keep Joely up so that I can snuggle him. I'm so blessed to have such a loving, caring husband. My family is so, so beautiful!

Excited for family outings this spring!

I still don't know

Joely turned nine months today. I thought I would be able to post everything that has transpired the past week and a half. Most of you who read this blog know what happened with Joely's former daycare providers. It is still hard for me to put in words. It is still hard for me to accept that Joely was not cared for the way he deserved. I don't know how long it happened. What I do know is that Joely knows he's supposed to be loved. He knows what love looks like, sounds like and feels like. He knew he wasn't getting that there. He let everyone know it! Even though my mommy-heart breaks each time I think of the situation, I feel a sense of relief now that he is in a safe, nurturing environment. My mommy guilt whispers, "I should have known sooner." The irrational part of me wants to home-school Joel and never let him out of my sight. The rational part of me learned that no daycare - licensed, unlicensed, home or center- is good enough for our children. Murad and I decided that Joel will never attend a daycare again. We know our situation is rare and that there are good day-cares out there. Despite this, we feel there are a lot of myths that are told to convince people to send their children to daycare.Until there is longer maternity leave (like at least a year) for women like me who need to work and raise a family and until fathers have more paternity leave, daycares seem necessary. I heard so much about how children gain social skills in daycare and develop better than children of stay-at-home moms. This is so not true. In fact, children learn social skills from their parents!!!
Our ultimate goal is to have me teach in the evening and Murad work during the day. I still really want to work, but I really want to raise Joely. Until that is a reality, we have a sweet deal. My former students' mom is watching Joely and my best friend's three year old. Joel loves it there. He knows he's loved and he loves them back. He's thriving there. He eats more, and he's starting to pick up the baby sign language. He's chatty and squealy again! He's just a happy, happy boy! I just want him to be that way all the time, but I know there are more hard times to come. My dad said things will get better and worse as he grows. I just want to protect him from everything bad and it kills me that I can't. I don't want to end this post on a sad note, so I'll end with the positives: Joely is nine months old and thriving! He is in a place where he is loved and nurtured. He's just about the cutest baby around!!!

Fun Foods!

Since we got the okay to decrease formula, we need some more foods to feed this boy. His new fave is kale, spinach, black beans, rice and chicken. I meant to buy some black beans today, but I forgot. I blame my forgetfulness on the fact that I had one cranky, teething boy with me. I usually don't take Joely shopping with me, but he needed to get out of the house. He's easily entertained by all the stuff and loves flirting with the ladies. Despite this, I knew I had to get in and get out before he had another meltdown. So, I forgot the black beans. I decided to try a new recipe. New recipe for today:

Brown Rice and Vegetable Medley
Cooked Brown Rice
Zuchini
Spinach
Red onion
Carrot
(I'm not putting no, but basically I put a little of each and add some water, blend)

I know Joel will love this as his favorite veggie is carrot. I know he will love it because I tasted it and loved it. I finished the remaining bit in the blender! I'm a pretty good chef!

Joel likes smoothies. Here's one I came up with:

Joel's Wildberry Smoothie
blackberries
blueberries
raspberries
1 banana
apple juice
2 baby spinach leaves

Okay, so here's a recipe for the adults! It's not alcoholic, so don't get your hopes up!I absolutely love the Genova pizza at Urban Crust. Since I can't eat there everyday, I decided to make my own. I was surprised when it tasted just as good as Urban Crust's. I even brought some to work for my co-workers! Yum!

Ashlea's Urban Crust Pizza
Pizza Dough (homemade or Pillsbury thin crust is just fine!)
Red Sauce (I bought Ragu Pizza Sauce)
Basil Pesto
2 containers of crumbled Goat Cheese
Argula
Eggplant

Cook dough for five to ten minutes at 400 degrees
take out dough
spread 2 tablespoons of pesto across dough (crust)
spread 2 table spoons of red sauce on top of pesto spread
sprinkle cheese on top of spread
place eggplant on top of cheese
cook for 7 minutes
add as much argula as desired

*I also added red onion to mine (can you tell it's my favorite?)

Joel Update at 8 months

We made it through January without any ear infections! We're hopeful that this means no tubes for our little man!

We discovered that Joel is lactose intolerant. As a result, we've changed his formula. Not too excited about that, but I'm really sick of having to change his clothes after every feeding and sending multiple outfits to daycare. It made laundry time oh so fun! Joel has always been a spitter-upper, but when we went to exclusively formula feeding, we noticed that he was spitting up a lot more. He was almost throwing up as much as he was taking in, which is not good. Fortunately, switching his formula solved everything! Despite all this at 8 months, Joel is a healthy 16.4 pounds! He's such a big boy!

Dr. Ramirez also told Murad that we need to start giving him more food-food and decreasing his formula feedings. Right now, we're introducing pasta. We've started adding black beans, spinach, and rice to most of his faves. We also let him have little cookies. If we let him, Joel will feed himself (and the dogs who hover near his highchair).

Joel's top two teeth are starting to come in as well. He's putting everything in his mouth and has replaced spit-up with drool!

Joel is perfectly content with playing by himself. He can easily entertain himself with his toys and books and for that I'm thankful. We've noticed that having the TV off really helps his independent playtime. He vies for our attention more when he thinks we're watching TV. When the TV is off, he's content and will let us know (usually with a smile) when he needs some attention.

Even though Joely is crawling or walking yet, he's good at getting where he needs to be. He's mastered the art of scooting and rolling. I'm hoping that the formula change will allow him to be on his belly more, and eventually do some crawling. Then again, he may decide to skip crawling altogether!

Dr. Ramirez said that Joely is the healthiest that she's seen him. She told us to skip his 9 month appointment and come see her when he hits 12 months. Yep! That's right, folks. We're closing in on one year!

Tomorrow is Joely's In/Out Birthday! I don't have any pictures of me at 37 weeks, but I have this cute picture of Joel and me at 37 weeks out (okay it was taken last week, but you catch my drift!) Happy In/Out Birthday, Joely!