Monday, October 5, 2009

a woman's role?

lately I've been struggling a lot with my role as a woman in society, specifically my marriage. it's one of those things that I didn't expect to happen. I felt like lately Mr. Soup and I have gotten into "traditional" roles in our marriage. We didn't do that before, but lately I've been doing most of the cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping and I felt like Mr. Soup was doing all the other manly stuff like dealing with money and saving. My parents did a pretty good job of splitting the household duties, so I wanted to make it that way. We both work and plan to after we have kids, so there is no need for one of us to prepare to take over all the household duties (unless we become fabulously wealthy oh wait we would just get a maid) Not that I don't love keeping a home for my family. I do. I love cooking meals and decorating and I even love cleaning, but I just felt like this this what I have to look forward to...maybe it's because this weekend after I was sick I was overwhelmed with getting things back in order, or maybe because we just had a serious talk about starting a family, but I just felt like I wasn't an equal to my husband.
We had a big talk about it over the weekend and I felt really good about it. My husband always does a good job of trying to see things from my point of view and making me feel appreciated. Also, I went to church on Sunday and heard a really good sermon about the relationship of marriage. My pastor talked about how men in Biblical times regarded women as property and easily discarded their wives once they found a younger, prettier women. Jesus preached on this and reminded men that women were created to complement men and to be their partners through marriage. He felt that men did not see their wives as equals and were treating them as such. He did not make marriage to be about submissiveness, but about complimenting each other as partners. The pastor went into a lot of other stuff about the pain of divorce, which I thought was really good, but this part about being equals really stuck out.
The sermon made me feel better about my feelings, like they were justified. Of course, my wonderful husband validated my feelings too. I know that I complement him in that I'm better at the household things, but he acknowledged that this is a partnership and we're building our lives together. So, while he may need constant reminding to clean and help with the groceries (we had one of our grocery dates tonight at Sam's those!), I know he wants to do those things and wants to be my partner in life. We're working out the kinks now so that when we do have children it'll be smooth sailing in that department, because Lord knows we'll have bigger problems to face once we're parents.
And while I do embrace my domestic qualities, I'm much more than that. Let's face it. I'm fabulous! I have a wonderful life (despite swine flu)! I make kids read, damnit! Sometimes I make them like it!

1 comment:

  1. i struggled with these same things when i got married nearly seven years ago but if you have a man (sounds like you do!) that has a Christian perspective on healthy relationships and will prevail and be stronger and stronger throughout the years. you'll still be doing all the housework but at least you two will agree that it is not because you're the woman but because we do things better! Go Jayhawks! Go Buffs!