half..what does it mean?

I am always intrigued by blended families. I sort of got to be a part of one, but not fully. My grandparents on my mom's side divorced and remarried and my paternal grandmother remarried after my grandfather passed away. As a result, I have more cousins than most people do. In fact, I have quite a few aunts and uncles who have divorced and remarried, so you can imagine how large my family is. I have cousins that I've never even met!! I always felt closer to my "bio" or "natural"(if you're into labeling things) family, than my step, partly because it was easier to see that we were related. However, I'm closer to some of my step family members than my natural family members.
At home though, it was just me in my nuclear family. I had my dad, mom, brother and dog. I was secretly envious of my friends who got two Christmases and two birthday parties. However, as a teacher who sees how messy blended families (and some nuclear families) can be, I am grateful that I got to wade in the pond of blended families.
However, I am entering into the deep end of blended families. As Mr. Soup and I prepare for a family our own, I wonder what the relationship will be like between our children and Abby. So far, my family has welcomed her with open arms. My parents love being grandparents. Tonight, I began reading some articles online about "half-sibling" relationships. It is interesting to read about half-siblings. They have such a unique bond. Some are as close as full-siblings (usually those that share a mother) and some are complete strangers (usually those that share a father). My dad had a sister (on his dad's side) who was thirty years older than him. He didn't interact with her until his father died. They kept in touch somewhat, but I don't think my dad ever really thought of her as his "sister." Whereas, Abby and her sister (on her mom's side) are very close. They are three years a part and even though they do not look anything alike, their bond is very apparent. It isn't surprising that those who share a mother are closer than those who share a father. Most children reside with their mother. I just hope this isn't an indicator of our family.
And while we will never make the distinction between full and half siblings in our family, there will be some notable differences: at least a ten-year age gap and different residences. I wonder what Mr. Soup and I can do to nurture the relationship? I have to accept that their relationship may not be exactly what I envision, but I hope there is a bond. Okay, I'll say it. I want there to be a STRONG bond!
I know there will be family vacations, holidays, etc., but what about the everday sibling relationship building? My brother and I are close because we both share common experiences: being nagged at by our mom, breaking important home decorations, unloading the dishes together, fighting over the phone, etc... These things may not be possible with such a large age gap and different addresses.
I guess I'm looking for a model of some sort or instruction guide, but as with life there is none.I do have a glimmer of hope. Mr. Soup has a younger brother (on his mom's side). There is a thirteen year age difference and they did not grow up together. However, they definitely have a strong, brotherly bond. Mr. Soup said when he was younger, he would take his brother with him places (probably to pick up girls =), and he would attend important events for his brother. However, they could bond over playing video games and engage in sibling rivalry when things didn't go in one's favor.
Anyways, I'm including a link to an article I read about half-siblings. It was very insightful. I think this is an area in which psychologists and sociologists could gain more information. Our country is full of blended families and not just from divorce. If we can nurture these relationships and creative positive, healthy family dynamics, we can have such an impact on society. Imagine: emotionally healthy people? ahhh! http://http//www.guardian.co.uk/family/story/0,,2254676,00.html

Resolutions

Okay, so before I go into my resolution, I want to focus on the things I did well in 2009!
1. Organization - I maintained some very good organization as I taught, planned a wedding and completed graduate school! I also organized our apartment so well that it feels LARGE! Okay, not large, but not tiny!
2. Wedding - uh, need I say more? Our wedding was absolutely the best wedding of the decade!
3. Marriage - Unlike most celebrities (not saying I'm a celebrity!), I've been happily married for 9 months!
4. eating well - in the summer I did an excellent job of preparing more veggie meals into our diet, eliminating fast food and eating smaller portions
Okay, so here it is for the New Year's resolutions:
1. Buy a house! Mr. Soup found a house that we really want to buy. In fact, I'd call it our dream starter house. He's looking for a better job in hopes that we can before the Obama credit expires. However, if we don't, our goal is to have the money for a down payment saved so that we can officially start house-hunting in December 2010. We may not get the dream starter home before April, but I have no doubt that we can find a great home.
2. Eat Well - We will eat two exclusively Vegetarian meals per month. I would say once a week, but I know my husband. I'll start out with two vegetarian meals per month, but try to shoot for four. And when I say vegetarian, I don't mean pasta with no beef or a whole bunch of McDonald's french fries. I mean a meal full of veggies!
3. Eat Well part 2 - eat fast food only once a month
4. Get Fit - I really want to prepare my body for pregnancy. I want to work out 3 + times per week and lose five pounds by December 2010. I know this seems ridiculous, but I need to drop those last few pounds before getting pregnant.
5. Communicate - One issue Mr. Soup and I have in our marriage is communication. We need to communicate better. If we work on this issue, it will help our marriage remain solid. I'm so proud to have a loving, supportive husband who would do anything for me and makes me feel sexy. This one issue can severely hinder our marriage and I would like to nip it in the bud.

i'm not as mad, but I still hate you...

so, I'm still a little pissed about the credit card company lowering my limit. I also saw that Obama extended the first time home buyer tax credit, so I wanted to see if despite this I could qualify for a home loan. I aimed rather high with how much I wanted to be approved (because let's face it, why not?). I wanted to get approved alone because Mr. Soup is in grad school and his income is not steady. The loan officer was very helpful and said that if I pay off that credit card and if Mr. Soup is making at least $15,000, I would qualify. I qualified for a smaller loan, but I decided to hold off. Even though it seemed like a deterrent, it really wasn't. It gave me a good idea of what we need to do. Hopefully we can buy by May 2011, so in the next year in a half, I plan to:
1. raise my credit score. my credit score is good. really good. it improved quite a bit since the last time I checked, but I really want to get it to excellent or near excellent.
2. pay off that credit card and pay down all other debts. Mr. Soup will start working a real full time job in January 2011, so we'll be able to do that pretty effortlessly, but before that, I want to pay down as much as I can on my own. Since he'll be making well over $15,000 a year then, maybe we can see if we could qualify for a larger loan or just be able to pay more on the existing one!
3. enter a down-payment assistance program/first time homebuyer's class
I'm so excited because all of the things seem to be falling in place.
1. Mr. Soup graduated and improved his GPA
2. He got his first choice for internship
3. We are setting the wheels in motion to start our little family!

One Crazy Weekend

So, Mr. Soup graduated with his 2nd bachelor's degree this weekend. We had tons of friends and family in town and it was great. First, Tanisha, a reader from our wedding, came in on Friday. Mr. Soup's dad and stepmom came in as well. On Saturday we traveled to UNT for the graduation ceremony and then came back to our apartment to celebrate with yummy goodies. I will have to say I was a little nervous since I catered the event, but everything turned out yummy! I also got a great cake for his graduation as well. I'm so proud of my husband. This has been a difficult journey for him, but he was determined to get this degree and he did it! He also ended his last semester with a 4.0! I could tell how excited and overwhelmed he was. He kept saying he didn't want the day to end! His parents were so proud as well!

Well the weather in NJ didn't quite agree with the airports, so Mr. Soup's parents' flight ended up being Canceled. Yep. That's right. They didn't fly out until today (Tuesday) morning. So, decided to use the extra days to entertain them and really show them around Dallas. On Sunday we had brunch with Abby's Kansas grandparents and Mr. Soup's parents at The Original Pancake House. We also took Tanisha to the airport so she could return to Kansas. On Monday, Mr. Soup took us to the site where he interned (update: he just found out today that he will be able to intern there for graduate study!). We (father-in-law, brother-in-law, Abby and me) got the grand tour and we got to meet all the wonderful people with whom my husband works. They all had wonderful things to say about him (as expected) and we really think this place is a good match for him! Monday afternoon, Abby, Mr. Soup and the in-laws ate a wonderful lunch outside at Eatzi's. If you haven't eaten at Eatzi's you really should! It's delicious! On Monday night, the in-laws joined us at CiCi's Pizza for Abby's 8th birthday party. I think they really enjoyed being there to see their granddaughter celebrate her birthday! While, I am exhausted and fighting off a cold, it was such a great unexpected surprise. We rarely get to see Mr. Soup's family and it was such a treat to be able to share this long weekend with them. So, while the extended trip, flight cancellation, extra hotel fees, etc may have been annoying, it was well worth spending the extra quality time with family.

Last night after CiCi's Abby had a sleepover with some of her Dallas friends. It was interesting to say the least, but Mr. Soup and I survived. One girl ended up going home in the middle of the night (I promise, we're not evil people. she just had never made it through an entire sleepover before...she gave it her all though!)

Today, has been kind of a busy day with doctor's appointments and running errands, but tomorrow, I'm looking forward to sleeping in late, cleaning and doing laundry!

i hate you...

credit card company. I am so close to paying off my credit card. only a little left...which is awesome right? well, I made a huge payment last month and plan to do so next month and be done. I just got a letter in the mail and the credit card company lowered my limit to just above the balance left. So now, it appears to the credit bureau that I have 60% debt rather than 5%. Freakin' awesome! NOT. Ughh...
Mr. Soup and I have been so adamant about not using our credit cards and paying them off. We've gotten one paid, two store cards paid and one almost paid off. I want to close this account, but I also want to keep it open because I've had it since I was in college. I've always paid it on time and way more than the minimum payment, but they reward me by upping the interest rate and lowering my limit. Two years ago they increased my credit limit and now when I'm close to paying it off they lower it? doesn't make sense.

okay. that's my vent!!!

cruise with me baby

so, i *think.* we have decided to do the cruise for our one year anniversary trip/honeymoon. while we did have our hearts set on DR, it's not financially smart or savvy to invest that much in a trip right now. Our savings took a big hit this summer with Mr. Soup unexpectedly going to NJ and vet bills, but we're slowly making our way back up. So, we'd rather keep that money in savings just in case we have emergencies creep back up. After we decided that, we were thinking of Port Aransas, but our hearts really weren't in it. The idea of a cruise frightened me, but after talking to several of my claustophobic friends who went on cruises, I decided I could handle it. The cruise will cost us a little more (not much) than going to Port Aransas, but it will be a lot less than DR. Plus, I get to have my beach time and looking at some of the excursion opportunities, we'll get to experience some fun stuff!
that means, we really need to get on the ball with planning it out. we're waiting until Mr. Soup gets his grad school class schedule to determine when exactly we leave (if we leave slightly before spring break, we can save almost $400) and we also need to get passports. I need to update mine with my new name and Mr. Soup's expired a year or two ago. So, if no major financial changes occur in the next month (keeping fingers crossed), we should be able to book our trip in January. get excited! I know I am! I know this sounds cheesy, but I'm just excited to experience this with my husband. I love traveling with him because we have so much fun together. When we go on roadtrips, we play stupid games like the Alphabet sign game or I read famous biographies off of Wikipedia in my announcer voice. We love driving through the midwest with our dogs in the backseat. I love flying with him because I have someone to lay my head on when I get tired and because he has good movies and TV shows saved on his phone that I can watch. I love navigating through New Jersey with him. The cold weather, the Philly cheesesteaks, the sports, I love it all! Now, I'll get to experience my first cruise with him and spend time on the beach with him. I love it!

DIY

After making all the announcements and paper goods for our wedding, I've really taken a liking to creating announcements. I'm hoping to take a design class soon and get some new software, so I can take it to another level.

I also made Mr. Soup's graduation announcements and I just designed Abby's birthday party invitations. Here's a sneak peak!