First, let me state that I love having a toddler. I will say that I did break down and cry most of the afternoon after installing Joel's big boy car seat. I guess that was just the last part of babyness, and now it's gone. I've been celebrating Joely turning one for the past two and a half weeks, so I haven't had much time to reflect on how I'm feeling. With all the traveling and visitors, I've been preoccupied.
I know they all say don't blink, but I really just blinked and Joel turned into this one year old who doesn't need me. I will say that Joel has always been a pretty independent baby. Aside from feeding and changing, he didn't need much. He wasn't colicky and we caught on quickly to everything we taught him. I remember holding him and wondering what his little personality would be like in a year. Well, now we're here and I can't help but miss my bundle of joy.
I wish I could relive the sleepless nights, the nursing, the frustration and confusion. I wish I could smell my son and get that sweet baby smell. I wish I could nurse him. I just want to relive all things baby.
I realize that is impossible, so besides pouring over the millions of pictures and videos I took, I want to focus on all things "right now." I will focus on how Joel giggles when wrestling with his daddy. He always seems so tired, but he goes back for more. Joel really took to whole milk and no longer drinks out of a bottle, and for that I'm thankful. Joel's favorite thing to do is open and close doors. In fact, he's figured out how to unlock and open the dogs' cage. I love that Joely points with his middle finger. It's like he's already giving a big "EFF YOU!" to the world! Joel still loves vegetables. In fact, he loves to eat zucchini like chips. If you're talking on the phone or talking to someone else, Joel will join the conversation. Joel will play with anyone, but he doesn't always realize that he's smaller than kids and way bigger than little babies. He also doesn't really like when other kids take his toys. In fact, he could care less about his toys most days, but let someone else play with them and he gets mad!
See why I love this little guy? Soon this will all be a memory. When that happens I will shed tears just as I did today.