Swine Flu, TAKS and motherhood

Well TAKS week has come and gone. This week, the 7th grade students took the reading and math TAKS. The 8th grade students took the Science and Social Studies TAKS. I hate just sitting there watching the students take the test. My assistant principal kept telling us to calculate the hours we were getting paid to do nothing. Excuse me? I am not going to calculate hours for not getting paid unless I'm at home in bed or on the beach. This is still work to sit and do nothing but watch kids. no internet, no book, no NOTHING! At least we got to wear jeans.

The Swine Flu. Wow! This pandemic has really got me scared. I keep telling myself it's not a big deal and that everything is going to be okay. However, when I watch the news I get scared. Fort Worth ISD canceled school for a whole week! Those lucky kids....and teachers!

So, I've been in a shopping frenzy. TodayI had a wake-up call though. I forgot that I scheduled to pay my student loan interest this month (I have my loans deferred while I'm in school, but I still pay the quartely interest). So, I need to halt my spending some since they just took out that $$. I bought some stuff from my friend from work Carole (also the harpist in our wedding). I bought a nice rug for our guest room and a chest for Abby's toys. I also got an antique purse for $3. I bought paper and envelopes from Paper Source. On Wednesday I used our Bed, Bath and Beyond gift cards to buy a brand new vacuum. I spent $23 on it! Gotta love wedding gifts. I vacuumed tonight and for the first time our carpet is actually CLEAN. No dog fur on it! Woo-hoo! My mom also surprised me with a Defurminator! I can't wait. It successfully takes off the undercoat from the dogs. I can't wait to get it because they are shedding like crazy!

Well, the school year is winding down. I'm teaching 7th grade TAKS summer school during the month of June. I think it'll be alright and it will keep me busy. The money is nice too. I need to pad my savings. I know the honeymoon and everything will creep up on us. Oh, how I can't wait for March 2010 when we're on the beaches of Punta Cana, DR with our friends.

Abby is coming this summer. She'll be here June 14th until August. I can't wait. She'll go to the City of Richardson camps again. We're also going to sign her up for drill team camp and art class. My friend Elaina found tickets for the Dallas Children's Theater's performance of the Never Ending Story. Murad and I want to keep her active and busy. I plan to get her a library card and Murad is going to run with her every day. She'll also have chores like walking one of the dogs and making her bed. I think coming down here will be so good for her and us. Having a child here really does change our perspective on things. We're also going to limit how much Hannah Montana she watches. I don't think Murad and I can stand too much of that horrible girl! Bleh!

Murad will take classes this summer. He plans to take a GRE course this summer so he can take the GRE in the fall and apply for classes. He's starting to narrow down the grad school search. Definitely staying in the midwest (Texas, Kansas, Oklahoma) so that we can be driving distance from Abby. I think he's going to apply to counseling psychology Phd programs since they're a little bit easier to get into than clinical psychology Phd programs. Plus counseling psych fits his interests better (marriage/family therapy). He's also applying to a MSW program here in Dallas, too. Our goal is to buy a house wherever we end up, so we need to save for that too. It's all so scary, yet exciting. I just can't wait to see what happens. I feel like everything is going to be great. I just have this feeling that everything is going to be better than we expected! I can honestly say that is how things have been for Murad and me. Whenever things seem impossible, something great surprises us. We have been blessed in so many ways.

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes a mother. With mother's day coming up, it's hard not to think about. I love my mom so much and cherish our relationship. It's a bond no one can replace. She gave birth to me. Everything good that is in me comes from her. However, this week I've seen how horrible mothers can be to their children. How selfish they can be. It makes me sad for the child and the mother. I think motherhood is a gift from God. I can honestly say I'm not ready to be a mother yet. I take that back. I'm not ready to give birth to a child of my own yet. However, I love the motherly roles that I get to play each day. For example, I love being a mother to my dogs. They are my world and all my friends will tell you that if I could talk about Maya and Sam all day I would. They have such unique personalities and they are always there to cheer me up when I am down. I think they do more for me than I do for them! I love being a step-mom! I love doing girly things with Abby. I think if Abby were to live with us I could handle it and be successful at being a full-time stepmom. I hope I can pass down some of the good things I gained from my mom. My hopes for Abby are that she lives life to the fullest and that she never stops learning. I hope she greets people with an open-mind, but is careful with to whom she gives her heart. I hope she is honest with others and honest with herself. Finally, my last motherly role is my teacher role. I kind of ended up with this role by accident. I feel like this year especially my students are crying out. They are so needy and have so many emotional issues. It's hard not to get caught up in it and take it home. There are just too many of them. I have the same hopes and dreams for them as I do Abby. It's just harder to express that to them. It's harder to know if they even care that I care. It's hard to know if they care about themselves.

Well that's my two cents on motherhood. I love my roles. I cannot wait to have some of my own, but for now, I think I need to get a hold of my current roles and be a little selfish. I need a little more me time. Plus, the vain side of me really likes my body. I'm not ready to give it up. I know it'll come back, but it just seems like it'll be so hard! Next Sunday I will celebrate my 4th mother's day as a teacher, my 2nd mother's day as a dog-mommy and 1st mother's day as a stepmother. Happy Mother's Day to me!