I wish I could mend my hubby's broken heart. I hate to see him so, so down. I thought he was on the up and up, but Sunday was worse than Friday. We didn't go to the park. We didn't go to downtown Plano. At one time, I saw him closing the blinds on all the windows I had opened. He didn't even realize he was doing it. It was all subconscious. I wish there was a way to let him know he's not a failure.
He is reaching out and I'm thankful for that. I'm also thankful for the smile he gets on his face when Joely squeals with laughter. That boy seriously loves him some daddy. I'm thankful that hearing his daughter's voice cheered him up. Last night she called and he was thrilled. She was too. She genuinely sounded excited to talk to him. Afterwards, he said that Abby was such an inspiration. Her life is a lot harder than most kids. No matter what life throws at her, she is always cheerful, happy and usually smiling a big Campbell grin. I reminded him that she gets that from him.
I've never met a person so passionate about achieving his goals. When I met Murad he had barely graduated from a private college in New Jersey. He was going back to school to get a drug counselor certificate. Before moving here, he decided he wanted to go back to school the right way. He wanted to be a role model for his daughter since she didn't have very many. His first time in college, he was on an athletic scholarship. He also bounced around from college to college before finally graduating. This time, he was determined to do it right. He went back to school and got not only another bachelor's degree, but a master's degree. School wasn't easy for him either. Growing up he was in special ed due to reading problems and was always made to feel dumb when compared to his brother. He never let that get him down. Now, I see those insecurities creeping back in. The "I'm not good enough," is back.
I know that once he gets his license this will all be behind him,
but it is just so hard right now to realize that. He is not only a role model for Abby and Joel, but he's an inspiration to so many people. He's an inspiration to those who were called dumb or told they couldn't do something. I hope that he'll share his story with the world. I love him so much. I'm so lucky that he's my partner in life and the father of my son. He is my hero!