My Little Man

This weekend, Mr. Soup and I did the whole 3D/4D sonogram. It was kind of a last minute decision. At first, we weren't going to do it, but then we found a place having a spring sale. We really couldn't pass on the low cost. Plus, who doesn't want to see her son one more time before he arrives?
I had already gone to the doctor this week, so I knew he was doing pretty well. He's perfect in his size for how far along I am. His heart rate was perfect too. I'm awaiting the results of my glucose screening (gestational diabetes). Really hoping I don't have to do the 3-hour one! Also waiting on my 2nd Syphilis test. haha! No, but the state requires every mother to be tested for Syphilis twice during her pregnancy. At first, I was like WTF, but my doc said it was required. She said of all the people she's tested only one came back positive the 2nd time. That would've sucked!
So, yeah, the 3D/4D was totally worth it. At first I was a little skeptical because there are no refunds. We couldn't see JT very well because he likes to put his foot up by his head. He just likes to hold it near his face and occasionally put it in his mouth. In fact, he was asleep holding it next to his head. We tried and tried to wake him up, but he's a stubborn little guy. He finally moved long enough for us to see his little face. He is a cutie! I know I'm biased, but I just think he's going to be the cutest little boy. Heartbreaker!
The best part of the sono was finding out that he looks just like me! He has my nose and my lips. When I sent my dad the pics, he remarked at how much like me looks. I've attached my 1st baby picture so you can see the striking resemblance.
I just can't wait for him to get here. Did I mention JT already has a girlfriend? One of Mr. Soup's friends from grad school is an expectant father as well. His wife is a week behind me and they're expecting a little girl. We're already planning play dates, proms, weddings, etc. J/K sorta! The couple is interracial like us (he's white and his wife is Korean), so if our children did get married, we'd have some pretty cool-looking grandchildren!
Other updates:
one of my friends from college came to town, so a bunch of us Dallas Jayhawks got together twice this weekend. It's weird because we've all changed in so many ways, but we can still reminisce and have a great time. We went and watched the KU-Richmond game in Uptown Friday night and then barbecued last night. Lots of fun.
KU lost today to #11 seed VCU. I'm pretty much depressed about that. enough said
we're rethinking the minivan purchase....Kia has a new Sorento out and guess what....it has an optional 3rd row so it can seat 7! It's also in our price range! So I may not have to become a mini-van mom! However, I may not be able to get it in the fall like we thought. I'm thinking of taking some more time off to stay home with JT in the fall which means our income would be significantly smaller.
Mr. Soup has decided to sit for licensure exam. I'm so glad that he's doing it because this means that I can stay home longer. Right now we live pretty comfortably with his new job, but if he becomes a licensed social worker, he could pick up PRN shifts at any hospital which would almost double his income. I already planned to take off a few weeks in the fall, but now I can possibly take off a couple of months unpaid and we'd be okay. This would help tremendously because then we wouldn't have to put JT in daycare until he's almost 5 months. We'd have our routine down and I could breastfeed comfortably without having to pump as much. I just think the closer he gets to a year before officially entering the real world the better. Luckily, with Mr. Soup's current job he can be home some too, so JT won't have to spend 8 hours 5 days a week in day care anyways.
I'm really hoping and praying that:
-Mr. Soup passes the licensure exam (it's a beast! a lot of people fail the 1st time)
-The licensure exam is not on the same day as our childbirth class (we've already had to reschedule and I really don't want to go to it alone)
-he can get a PRN job at a hospital so that I can stay home a little longer
If none of this happens, we'll make it work. I don't doubt that JT would be okay going to daycare at 3 months. Some moms get less time at home. I'm extremely blessed that I get all this summer time with him and that my husband works a flexible job. I don't necessarily think that it matters which parent is home with the baby, and I don't think that daycare is bad for a baby. At this time, I just want to be able to spend as much time with him as possible and get him good and ready for the "real" world.

a strange call

last night Mr. Soup got a call from my stepdaughter. this was odd because we've been battling to have more time/phone calls with her. Up until last night, we only spoke to her if she was at her grandmother's house. We had decided to let God take that situation into his own hands and so we backed off. We did this partly because we were so broken from the whole experience and partly because my stepdaughter expressed a desire to have one family. So we hadn't made attempts to call and stopped bombarding her with care packages. We still kept in touch with her teacher until her mother moved her to two new cities in a one-month time span. However, we always were there for her when she called and we always let her know that we loved her and that she could call us anytime for any reason.

Last night she called from her mom's house. She wanted our address to send me a baby card. She's really excited about getting a baby brother. She also wanted to tell Mr. Soup about how her parent-teacher conference went at her new school. She knows that we place a high importance on her academics. We've always been involved in that area with attending conferences and rewarding her for good report cards. I think most importantly, she wants her daddy to be proud.

It felt good to know that she does still see us as her family and that despite everything she can still call her daddy. Things will never be the way they once were and we're pretty adamant that they won't be. We have so much to look forward to now, that we can't look back on what could have been. Nor do we want to look back. She will always be part of our family in a different way than before. We have learned to accept that. We've let her define what family is to her and we have done the same as well. It feels good to say that I'm okay with that. I think in our absence a lot of healing took place in our hearts and in hers.

things you should not do/say to a pregnant woman

I'm sure I will have more to add to this list, but I think I need to post this now to help everyone who is not pregnant:
1. do not touch her bellybutton (this goes mostly for my students...they think it's funny now that they can see my bellybutton)
2. do not talk about Happy Hour in earshot of a pregnant woman. today i was at my doctor's office and I could hear the office staff talking about drinking. I love the girls that work there, but I felt like they were bragging. LOL. Just remember a pregnant woman still has to go to work each day and at the end of a long week, we cannot partake in Happy Hour. Yes, we can still attend, but it's not the same. Luckily, I have replaced my weekly, relaxing glass of wine with reading a couple of chapters in a chick lit book (guilty pleasure...do not judge). And I actually don't mind the taste of non-alcoholic beer.
3. do not say things like, "awww!!! you're getting fat." or "look at how round your face is."
No, I'm not fat you a-hole! I'm knocked up! Yeah I put on 20 lbs in the last few months, but that's because I have a life inside of me. My ass isn't any bigger, it's my belly. My uterus is stretched beyond belief. One lady told me she stopped making fun of fat people after she got pregnant, because she understood what it was like to be hungry all the time. What? That is wrong on so many levels. 1. she made fun of fat people before getting pregnant and saw nothing wrong with it. 2. when you're pregnant you're not hungry all the time. sure you need more food, but it's not like you can never get full. 3. being pregnant and being obese are totally not the same.
4. Do not say,"Are you sure you should be doing that?" I am sure or else I wouldn't be doing it. I do have common sense. I'm not handicapped, just pregnant. I can still work-out, I can walk my dogs, I can bend over, I can open a 2 liter bottle of soda, etc. I'm not helpless, just pregnant. Let me do things here so that I can go home and complain to my husband and make him do all the work. That's my motive!
okay so here are some things you should say to a pregnant woman.
1. "your boobs look great!"
2. "I'm bringing you wine and sushi as soon as you give birth"
3. "Wow! you look so small. I can't believe you're _____ months."
4."Wow! I can't believe how strong you are. You must have the strength of a grown woman and a fetus."
Actually, I don't mind being pregnant at all, but there are days that I'm like, "really?" I find that instead of being annoyed by 75% of the world's population, I am annoyed by 99% of people I encounter. The only person who does not annoy me is....yep, you guessed it....JT! I look forward to Mr. Soup and I's nightly belly-time. Mr. Soup loves to push on my belly and feel JT kick/punch back. I love feeling him toss and turn too. I guess I can handle all the annoying people who have no tact when interacting with a pregnant woman if it means that I can experience all the joy that JT brings!

Nursery

Most of the rooms in our house are white or beige. I guess that's the cardinal rule when selling a house. Paint it white or beige. I could not have my baby sleeping in a white room, but I wanted something that would be neutral enough that all Soup babies would like it. Since I'm the oldest child, I decided that the big sibling will get a new room each time there is a new baby. So, if/when there is a 2nd Soup baby, JT will get a new room. New paint, big kid furniture, the whole nine yards! The new baby will get his old room (maybe some new accessories). I figure this is the most economical thing to do and it will make the big sibling feel special! So, JT's nursery will forever be the Soup Nursery.
Yesterday, with the help of friends, JT's white walls turned into Aqua Waves! I absolutely love this room now. It is my new favorite room in the house. I can't wait for the beach them to come together! I've snapped some pictures of the room before and after painting. I also put a picture of some of the accessories (sea shell curtain ties, crib sheets made by my mama). Enjoy some during pictures! I will post more once his nursery is complete!
It's amazing how one little room can make you feel closer to being a mom. The room is so relaxing. I can picture myself in here with my little man. I think of all the memories our little family will have in that room.

Ancestry.com

This is not a plug for Ancestry.com, but man is it cool! I joined originally because Mr. Soup wanted information on his grandfather. His race, ethnicity, and actual birth date are all in question. Back in those days, there were not accurate records on children who were adopted, let alone minorities in general.
I have hit the same brick wall with my dad's family. I have only been able to trace it back two generations. I even have quite a few names and dates, but not a lot of information. I did, however, see my grandfather's WWI draft card (yes, WWI....my grandfather was born in 1898 and he was in his 50's when my father was born) Very cool to see his signature on it! He was 19 at the time. I also saw the 1930 census record for FL where my grandmother was living with her parents. Very weird to see the word "NEGRO" written next to their names. A sign of the times, I guess.
I've come to the following conclusion: If you are any sort of minority, you will have trouble with ancestry.com I have Native American blood on both sides of my family and struggled to find accurate information. My maternal great-great-grandfather was adopted by a white family as a child, so I have no idea what his original last name was.
Despite this, I have found tons of information on certain sides of my mom's family. Just like I suspected we're that Euro white-trash mix (I say that lovingly)! Most of my family immigrated from England or Ireland with a sprinkling of folks from Scotland (although I'm still trying to figure out how we have a French last name in our family -- Boucher is French for butcher). They came by way of Canada (and some through the traditional Ellis Island) and settled in states like Michigan, Ohio, Iowa,etc. They eventually made their way to Kansas to farm the new land, as Kansas did not become a state until 1861. I'm still debating whether I want to sign up for the International version. I signed up for the national version, because I highly doubted that I would find that many people from Europe in my family. I was naive to think we just came from Kansas! I guess everyone comes from some place else, right?
Okay, so you all know that I'm a name-whore. I love, love, love classic names. I think most names today sound made-up. I fell in love with some of the names from both sides of my family. I wonder why people go to the trouble of finding yoo-neek (this is my term for people who give their kids not only made-up names, but ridiculous spellings), when we have such beautiful classic names. I don't care what the background is--Irish (Gaelic), English, African, Hawaiian, Arabic--there are beautiful, classic names within each culture (soapbox). I thought I'd share some of my family's names. Most people did not have middle names, but double first names were common then.
Katie Belle (usually I'm not a fan of Katie as a stand alone name --I prefer Katherine or Kathleen--but I thought this name was too cute!! Love the name Belle)
Henry
Lawrence
Julia Eva
Eliza
Jonathan
Thomas

Even though I don't have as much information as I want to pass down to Abby and JT, I still got some valuable information and a sense of pride. When I get frustrated with a student whose parents' don't speak English, I'll think about my ancestors who risked it all to immigrate here. Somehow they made it and our growing family tree with descendants who continue to accomplish so much is proof. Hopefully, this current generation will make it too.
In honor of my Irish heritage (explains why my hair turns red in the summer), Happy St.Patrick's Day! Drink some green beer for me!

Spring Break 2011

This is the first spring break that I have been in Dallas since moving here in 2005. Well, I take that back. I was here part of spring break in 2008 and all of it in 2009. However, I was getting married in 2009, so it didn't feel like I was really "here." Ironically my spring breaks prior to moving to Dallas were, in fact, spent in Texas. Crazy, huh?
Let's recall:
March 2004 Padre, TX (crazy times. college spring break locale. need I say more?)
March 2005 Dallas, TX (visiting friends and looking for a job)
March 2006 Wichita, Lawrence, and KC (spent part of it with my parents and part of it with my brother in Lawrence. I crashed on his couch and partied from sun up to sun down like I was in college again. don't know how I survived. Also visited friends in KC)
March 2007 Wichita, KS visited family
March 2008 Atlanta, GA and Dallas, TX (my friend Christina and I went to visit our friend Himee who was living in Atlanta at the time. Abby came to spend spring break in Dallas with us.)
March 2009 Dallas, TX we got married! Friends and family started arriving a week before we got married, so we were pretty busy.
March 2010 Gulf of Mexico- our one year anniversary cruise
So what's in store for Spring Break 2011? Mr. Soup and I had planned to take a babymoon/2nd anniversary trip to KC. However, then we decided to make it a staycation here in Dallas. Then we found out that Mr. Soup was to be inducted in the South Jersey Coaches Hall of Fame, so it threw everything for a loop. This would also have been the first year we could've attended the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Dallas. It's basically a drunken Irish fest, but one that would've been fun to attend! However, Mama Soup is not drinking while pregnant!
While we could go next year, I think our priorities will have changed by then. Plus, I'm really hoping that we can take JT to the beach for the first time next year. I'm hoping we can make it a JT's first beach/3rd anniversary trip. I know it seems weird bringing your baby on an anniversary trip, but I can't imagine leaving him with someone for that long (I'm already getting nervous about leaving him with his own father when I go on a girls' trip next spring...trying to convince myself not to back out). Plus, I think it can still be a romantic trip and a new experience for my little boy. So keep your fingers crossed that nothing pops up over spring break 2012, so that we can take our first official family vacation!
Okay, so what's in store for spring break 2011? lots of relaxing. I'll be able to watch endless hours of NCAA basketball (I'm watching Bracketology as I type this). I'll get caught up on my grading. I plan to sleep, clean, exercise, and hang out with friends. Oh and get JT's nursery ready for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (my favorite part of this spring break!) My least favorite part is that my husband has to work and that he's leaving next Friday for New Jersey. He will come back on Monday (our 2 year anniversary). I'll miss him dearly, but I'm excited for him! I know he'll have a great time and I'll get by without him. He's nervous to leave because his friend from grad school's wife went into labor at 25 weeks last week. Fortunately, they were able to keep baby inside. The whole situation has been weighing on Mr. Soup's mind lately. While I feel great, it would be hard to go through that without him here. I pray that everything goes smoothly while he's gone.
so that's our spring break 2011! funny how a baby changes everything. I can't say that I'm not excited by it! I love how JT has changed our lives and he's not even here yet!

you know what I love hearing?

"You don't look like you're almost 7 months pregnant!"
"You're so small. You must be carrying a girl."
Thank you for that. I went to a meeting today at my part-time job. I rarely see these people even though they're my co-workers in a sense. It felt really good to hear those compliments. Lately, I've felt like the Goodyear blimp. I can still tie my shoes and function like a regular human being, but it is so weird to see a belly where a flat stomach and abs once resided. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful that my little man is growing, but it's nice to hear that I'm not as huge as I think! Part of me thinks they're just lying to me though...

I love my boy

Okay, so I just had to have another post where I shout how much I love my baby boy. I just woke up from a nap and I'm looking at my little (yeah, right) belly in awe! I can't believe my little guy is in there. I must be the luckiest woman in the world. okay that is all.

good-bye strappy sandals

So, yesterday my back was killing me. This is probably because we gave a simulation test for three hours. I basically sat at my desk while the kids tested. I'm pretty sure that's what did it. I also still wear my strappy sandals. To be honest, they are not uncomfortable. When I wear them, my feet don't hurt at all. At the end of the day though my feet are huge. So, I guess it is time to retire them for a while. Today I wore my Nike sandals and I feel a lot better. My feet are also a normal size.
Ever since I got pregnant, I've been in such a weird fashion mood. I care more about what I look like and I've put extra care into perfecting my wardrobe. Lucky for me I didn't spend a fortune on maternity clothes (not even $200), but I felt this sudden sense of pride in my appearance. I started taking extra time to put on my make-up, curl my hair, and pick out clothes. You'd think I'd wear ponytails everyday, but nope! It's weird how being a mom-to-be has changed me into a fashionista! Usually it's the opposite!
I guess being in love does that to you? I remember when I first met Mr. Soup, I dropped 20 lbs. He didn't recognize me the next time he saw me (we had a long distance relationship). I think the same can be applied to being a mom. I'm so proud to be JT's mom and I want him to be proud of me as well. I'm always finding ways to show off my bump and still look my best.
so good-bye strappy sandals....I'll see you in June!
having a baby has also helped me reevaluate my career goals. Mr. Soup is really encouraging me to look into starting my own business and I really just need to stop being a pansy and do it. I also want to pat myself on the back because I always wanted to teach at a community college and I'm now doing it. I love it almost as much as I love teaching junior high. why? because I have total curricular freedom! It's so freeing to be able to teach what I want to teach. I also love the flexibility of teaching at a community college. As I prepare to become a mom, I'm really appreciating that. If I have a doctor's appointment at the junior high I have to take a day or find someone to cover my class. I can't stand to think of what it will be like when JT has Halloween parties and other events. I can't miss those! So, yeah I'm not going to be a SAHM, but I am trying to put the pieces together to become a WAHM or at least part-time WAHM and part-time community college professor. This website has given me lots of inspiration WAHM
It's funny how pregnancy changes someone. Fashionista, Entrepeneur, College professor! I like the new Mrs. Soup....ahem....Mama Soup! I'm totally welcoming the revamping of me!

hair update and my baby is so smart!

so, I caved in last night and relaxed my hair. yep, no more frizzy roots for me. to be honest my curly hair had become pretty unmanageable. I would comb it each and every day and my roots would still be knotted or frizzy. Even straightening my hair with a flat iron didn't work because the knots were so bad. I tried using an olive oil concoction that I made. It softened my curls, but in a few days I was back to knots. I do feel somewhat defeated, but not really. I know you're not supposed to relax your hair while pregnant, but I bought a mild, all-natural kind of relaxer and made sure the bathroom was fully ventilated. I do not think I could've gone to a salon because of all the fumes, so doing it at home worked best. In addition, most doctors say that one can return to dyeing and using other chemical processes on one's hair once she hits the second trimester, so I feel pretty safe about it. Plus JT is kicking and moving around as I type this. So, he hasn't been harmed. Plus, I wanted to do it now when my hair is strong from all the prenatal vitamins and junk. Once JT arrives my hair will be depleted of nourishment.
So, what did I discover in my 7 months of having chemical-free hair?
1. I do not need to relax my hair every six weeks. While my roots weren't straight like they are now, they were manageable for a good four months. So, I propose relaxing my hair once every season.
2. my hair grew really fast. this could be because of the prenatal vitamins, but I think a large part of it has to do with not being exposed to chemicals every month and limiting the amount of heat I put on my hair. My hair is down my back now. It's never been that long before.
3. i can have relaxed hair and still wear it curly. most people with curly hair have rather tame roots and a curly shaft. my situation was the opposite. I can still make my shaft curly with my Mixed Chicks products, but I need something to keep my roots wavy/smooth
4. it's okay to use chemicals on your hair. I really wanted to be this earthy, crunchy granola mama (I still do). I think it's okay to admit that my hair is not going to be tame without some sort of chemical on it. Just like eventually, I will have to dye my hair (I haven't seen a grey hair yet, but I don't doubt that motherhood will cause them arrive)

okay, so now onto my baby. did you know that June is the month for smart babies to be born? Mr. Soup really wants our baby to be born in May. I sort of do to, but that's just for work reasons. I'd rather start my maternity leave early than take time off in the fall. That's another story though. However, more kids with high IQs were born in June. I believe this to be true because--
1. JT only kicks or moves around a bunch when I'm not at work. It's like he knows I have to deal with crazy kids and is saying, "don't worry, mama. I'll just sleep." okay so maybe it's just because that's when he wants to do some of his 12-14 hours of sleeping. In my book it's genius.
2. he knows who we are! well, he knows who his daddy is. he doesn't really respond to my voice, but let Mr. Soup talk to my belly or even just walk into the room and have a normal conversation with me, and JT goes crazy!! He starts kicking and moving. He gets so excited to hear his daddy. I think it's something about Mr. Soup's deep voice. I hope that's the case because I really can't stand to think of us talking in high-pitched baby talk. *shudders*
other updates:
-painting JT's nursery 3/19. We've got so much stuff for his nursery! I can't wait to post pictures. It's going to be so cute! i'm having a painting party with my girls while Mr. Soup is out of town.
-the next couple of months will be devoted to JT. birthing classes, infant safety classes, breastfeeding classes, breast-pumping classes, etc are all on the calendar. we're trying to throw in some fun things for us as well.
-we've narrowed down our new car choices to Honda Odyssey (most expensive, but best mini-van on the market), Toyota Sienna, and Mazda 5.
-we've completed a sibling set of names. not sure why we feel the need to have a sibling set completed, especially since we don't know if we'll have more kids after JT (I know, I know...how could you say that, Mrs. Soup? right now I can't imagine loving another kiddo as much as I love JT. I know that will change, but right now that's how I feel) and we probably won't be having 4 kids! I've posted our names before, but now we have a second girl choice. we didn't notice this trend, but all our potential kids' names have four letters. that helped us narrow down a 2nd girls' name.
Joel Tariq - our first boy. Joel in honor of his grandfather and deceased uncle. Tariq means Morning Star in Arabic.
Adam Le0 - Adam and Joel seem like siblings and Leo is in honor of his maternal grandfather and uncle (both their middle names are Leo)
Lena/Lina Elise - LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this name! I better have one freaking' girl!
Skye Francesca - we both love Skye for a girl and Francesca is in honor of Mr. Soup's deceased grandmother Frances. I know there are no girl names from my side of the family in this set, but there is literally nothing I would consider using. nothing at all. I know Skye is not a classic name, but it is actually a name and it's simple. I think pairing it with a classic girly name like Francesca makes it work well. The spelling is unique without be yoo-neek (see my previous posts on purposely misspelled name)

thoughts at 6 and a half months

Most days I wake up and think to myself, "what the hell am I doing?" I seriously wonder sometimes if I am fit enough to be a mother. I also wonder if it is the right thing to bring a child into this effed up world. While I am happiest I've been and I feel nothing but love for JT, I still wonder if I am doing the right thing. A little late for that, right? Growing up I did have a desire to become a mom, but most days that was quelled by what seems now to be selfish desires. And while I'm thankful to have "grown up," I still have those nagging questions. Will I be a good mom? Are we financially secure? Is this world safe enough for my baby?
This week and others has really helped me to feel better about this world. So many people have given us so many things, that we hardly have to buy anything brand new for JT. I get excited thinking about the stories behind each and every item we have for him. My mom and dad have used their funds and talents to furnish his nursery and provide essentials such as a carseat, stroller and high chair. My mom has made his crib sheets and is making his curtains. Our neighbor generously gave us her son's old clothes. Not only that, but countless people have volunteered babysitting services. I've kept track of all that we have received:
-maternity clothes
-breast pump (awesome, right?)
-crib
-pack n' play
-crib sheets
-curtain tie backs
-baby boy clothes
-stroller
-car seat
-high chair
-toys
-babysitting services
maybe this is a sign that I am ready to be a mom? people believe in me? people believe in us as potential parents. the generosity overwhelming. I feel like people are genuinely excited for JT and excited for Mr. Soup and I as we embark on this journey. I feel that even though Mr. Soup and I are far from family, JT will be surrounded by love. love from our family here in Texas which consists of friends and neighbors. I feel good about the world in which we are bringing JT.
While I absolutely love being pregnant (minus the weight gain and pre-teen acne), I am ready to welcome our little man into the world. I want to hold him in my arms. I want to share him with this great world in which we live.