Wednesday, March 23, 2011

things you should not do/say to a pregnant woman

I'm sure I will have more to add to this list, but I think I need to post this now to help everyone who is not pregnant:
1. do not touch her bellybutton (this goes mostly for my students...they think it's funny now that they can see my bellybutton)
2. do not talk about Happy Hour in earshot of a pregnant woman. today i was at my doctor's office and I could hear the office staff talking about drinking. I love the girls that work there, but I felt like they were bragging. LOL. Just remember a pregnant woman still has to go to work each day and at the end of a long week, we cannot partake in Happy Hour. Yes, we can still attend, but it's not the same. Luckily, I have replaced my weekly, relaxing glass of wine with reading a couple of chapters in a chick lit book (guilty not judge). And I actually don't mind the taste of non-alcoholic beer.
3. do not say things like, "awww!!! you're getting fat." or "look at how round your face is."
No, I'm not fat you a-hole! I'm knocked up! Yeah I put on 20 lbs in the last few months, but that's because I have a life inside of me. My ass isn't any bigger, it's my belly. My uterus is stretched beyond belief. One lady told me she stopped making fun of fat people after she got pregnant, because she understood what it was like to be hungry all the time. What? That is wrong on so many levels. 1. she made fun of fat people before getting pregnant and saw nothing wrong with it. 2. when you're pregnant you're not hungry all the time. sure you need more food, but it's not like you can never get full. 3. being pregnant and being obese are totally not the same.
4. Do not say,"Are you sure you should be doing that?" I am sure or else I wouldn't be doing it. I do have common sense. I'm not handicapped, just pregnant. I can still work-out, I can walk my dogs, I can bend over, I can open a 2 liter bottle of soda, etc. I'm not helpless, just pregnant. Let me do things here so that I can go home and complain to my husband and make him do all the work. That's my motive!
okay so here are some things you should say to a pregnant woman.
1. "your boobs look great!"
2. "I'm bringing you wine and sushi as soon as you give birth"
3. "Wow! you look so small. I can't believe you're _____ months."
4."Wow! I can't believe how strong you are. You must have the strength of a grown woman and a fetus."
Actually, I don't mind being pregnant at all, but there are days that I'm like, "really?" I find that instead of being annoyed by 75% of the world's population, I am annoyed by 99% of people I encounter. The only person who does not annoy me is....yep, you guessed it....JT! I look forward to Mr. Soup and I's nightly belly-time. Mr. Soup loves to push on my belly and feel JT kick/punch back. I love feeling him toss and turn too. I guess I can handle all the annoying people who have no tact when interacting with a pregnant woman if it means that I can experience all the joy that JT brings!

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