Saturday, July 11, 2009

A Change of Plans

It seems like every time I write a blog entry, something changes. I'm always planning and then things change. However, this time the change is big and a good one. Murad has decided to postpone applying to grad school until next year. That means we are waiting to make a big move until 2011. There were a lot of things building up to this. First, Murad has had a stressful summer with classes and working full-time. He hasn't really been able to study for the GRE like he wants to. While his GPA is good, he wants to be higher. So, after he graduates he is going to enroll in an MSW program, most likely at Texas A&M Commerce. He can get an awesome grad GPA, gain some research experience and a counseling practicum. Doctorate progams in psychology look very highly on research experience and since he's applying to mostly counseling psych programs, it will look good to have a counseling practicum. He can study for the GRE, take a prep course if necessary and take it more than once so he can get the score he wants.These are all things I've learned as the wife of a professional student (more on that later...)
At first it seemed like a big blow, but after we started talking about it, we realized this will open up a lot of doors for us. We're hoping that Murad's internship at Baylor turns into a full-time gig once he graduates. Hopefully, we can maintain our current poverty line existence and build a nest-egg with one of our salaries. That way when we move we can A.) buy a house in his grad school location. B.) put some money away so that we can start our family while he is in grad school. Luckily, Murad is applying to funded doctoral programs so his tuition & fees would be covered and he would receive a modest living stipend. Even with that I worried if having a baby while he is in grad school was smart to do. I kind of made myself believe that I would have to wait to be a mother. However, I'm not getting any younger. Having a baby while I'm in my forties is not for me (I don't knock those who's just not me!). While I'm not ready for motherhood, I know that in a few years I will be and at that time I don't want anything to stand in the way of that! So, I feel a little more peace in my heart about that. I truly believe God brought this confusion into our lives for us to make sense of it and come up with a plan to works for us as a family.
In addition, I think this will enable him to get into one of his top choices. We're really hoping for KU or UMKC, so we'll see!
There are a few things I want to do before we move. Since we do want to have children in a few years, I really need to reconsider my career choice. I'm seriously looking into teaching at a community college. I love being a teacher of junior high students, but it would be too stressful while being a mommy. I'm hoping the time here will allow me to grow a pair and apply to teach (part-time...maybe one night a week or in the summer) at one of the local community colleges. Just to give it a try and see if I like it and gain some experience. I'm just a little nervous because a.) I am young and look really, really young (I get mistaken for joke) b.) I still doubt my skills...I know, it's dumb, but I do. I need to get over that....and I will.
Another thing I want to do is learn more about what it's like to be the wife of a grad school student. I've been researching it a lot and there really isn't much out there. I'm thinking of starting a blog or a website that provides an outlet for us strong women. We face so many challenges (finances, stress, dissertation, etc.) and joys (graduation, paid internship!). So that is one of my summer projects: researching and writing about being a professional-student spouse.
I feel like I just wrote a book. It was good and cathartic though. everything is just real good right now...

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